6 simple ways to make the 2008 playoffs

Wait, what? What happened? I blacked out for a week and when I woke up the Rockies were only 6 games out of first place. As they say in the land down under, "Wtf, mate?" How is this possible? How is this team, the Colorado Rockies, of 63-71 fame, only 6 games out of first place with 28 games left? On this date last year, the Rockies were 6.5 games back of first place. I'm not saying we're going to have Rocktember deja vu but to be perfectly honest, in this crazy mixed up world we live in where college students in our fair city are being maced by SWAT teams and Joe Morgan still has a broadcasting job (the two have direct correlation), stranger things have definitely happened. We've won 13 of our last 18 on the road (to bring us all the way from atrociousness to just plain ol' shittiness away from Coors this year), and are getting major contributions from every aspect of our ballclub. Too little, too late? Possibly. But the present doesn't look as bleak as it did even a week ago.

Here are some things that must happen for the Rockies to pull off another miracle, improbable, logic-defying run to a second consecutive postseason:

1) The continued domination of our makeshift bullpen.
- Luis Vizcaino has begun to pitch like, you know, a real pitcher. No longer flinging poo in wayward directions when he enters the ballgame he has started to become a, dare I say, worthwhile contributor (1-0, 2.70 ERA, 16/2 K/BB ratio in August.)
- Taylor Buchholz is just phenomenal. That's it. No further explanation needed.(6-3, 1.61 ERA on the season)
-T Rex has been ferocious since returning to the closer's role. 25-27 in save opportunities and has recently struck out 34 of his last 72 hitters faced. That doesn't suck one bit. So what if it's probably his last hurrah with the Rox? He's going out with a bang.

2) Writing in Ian Stewart's name into the lineup card every single day.
- There's nothing this kid can't do. I'm serious. I was totally, like, walking by Coors Field yesterday and saw King Stew shooting webs out of his hands and scaling the left field Jumbotron. Then I saw him use his Predator-like stealthness to bypass the 8 miles of security surrounding the Pepsi Center to accept the Democratic nomination for the Presidency of the United States. Barack Obama was quoted as saying, "Damn, that boy can hit that ball a country mile." Then Stew, feeling bad for stealing Obama's nomination, asked him to run as Vice President on his ticket. Stewart-Obama '08. Then he lowered gas prices by $2 a gallon and ended the conflict in the Middle East peacefully. See? I told you he could do anything.

3) The return of the Franchise.
- Jeff Francis finally got his first win since June 18 last night against the Giants. His changeup was effective and biting, his fastball was sneaky and he kept hitters off balance enough to keep them hitting weak ground balls. Translation: he was the Jeff Francis of old. We're going to need him to return to form if we think we have any kind of shot at this thing.

4) Do not play Livan Hernandez.

5) Pray for a choke-job from the D-Bags and Doyers.
- The Dodgers already seem to be way ahead of me on this one. To go along with their utter inconsistency, enormous payroll, and MIA offense, they still seem to find spots for "true Dodger" Juan Pierre. Until they stop doing that, I'll just keep laughing. The D-Backs have possibly the best 1-2 pitching tandem in the big leagues in Brandon Webb and Dan Haren. Beyond that, their ballclub really isn't that impressive. Their offense is lackluster at best as Chris Young, Justin Upton and Eric Byrnes have been, well, to call them disappointing would be lavishing them with praise. I called that back in April by the way. You can look it up here in the archives of Frost Brewed Baseball. While I'm not saying that it's probable that both of these teams will tank enough for the Rockies to overtake them, I'm not saying it's impossible.

6) Take advantage of their remaining games against the NL West
- The Rox have 6 more against the D-Backs and 3 more against the Dodgers. Then there's 13 more games against also-rans the Giants and Padres. To make the playoffs this season the Rockies must take advantage when they play teams that are less talented then they are. The Rockies offense is starting to click, the starting pitching has been serviceable if not spectacular, and the bullpen has been lights-out. They have one of the most talented lineups in all of baseball and now they're finally showing it.

Well, there you have it. If all those things happen then I guarantee we will go to the playoffs. Did I say guarantee? That probably wasn't the right word but hey, at least there's a glimmer of hope now.