Mc D vs. Shagler vs. Predator: Requiem

Hello again, my pretties. Oh, how I've missed you. Yay, and like John Travolta before me, I'm making a comeback. I was on the 60-day DL with non-baseballfootballitis. Luckily due to spring training and the draft coming up, my life has meaning. Oh and these frickin' Jay Cutler shenanigans.

Today on First and 10 they asked Dr. Skip Bayless, Sports MD if the Broncos/Cowboys should swap Jay Cutler for Tony Romo. Seriously? Have we come this far?

First of all, Football Outsiders ranked Jay Cutler as the fifth most valuable QB in football last year and Tony Romo eleventh. Who trades a 25-year old, Pro Bowl, top-5 QB? Nobody. Not nobody not no how.

This discussion should not happen, but it is. Cutler is under contract and only Matt Millen or a chimpanzee of average chimpanzee intelligence would trade Cutler, even for a number 1 overall pick. Ignoring this rather obvious fact, everyone involved in this situation is a moron: Mc D, Shagler, Bus "Whose career can I destroy now?" Cook, Pat "Furcoats and Trophy Wives" Bowlen.

Let me break it down for you:
Mc D - You are not all-hailed lord of football. Good leaders make their subjects enjoy what they do for their organization without feeling subjugated. Stalin shot anyone who opposed him. Don't be like Stalin! Also, I know you and Matt Cassel are BFFs but Football Outsiders had him as the 17th best QB. Comparing him and Cutler is like comparing Scot "With Legs Wide Open" Stapp's songwriting to Bob Dylan. Or that twirly Bono douche from Coldplay who probably hires someone to throw confetti over him wherever he goes to Thom Yorke. Stop.

Shagler - Ohhhhh does baby want a cookie? Or a gigantic contract? Stop crying and play football. If I made a couple million dollars a year, I would sure as shit be glad to do my job. Mike Shanahan would have rather have coached John Elway for every day of his career, but he got stuck coaching a crybaby like you. Why didn't you complain then? Pick up a football and stop whining. Trades are discussed in every sport. You are not above everyone. You haven't even won a playoff game yet. Get off your high horse and stop crying.

Bus Cook - Aaaannnnnnddddddd there you have it. We have another Scott Boras, but for football! You boned Brett Favre and now you've come for Jay Cutler. Please just fire yourself and go ruin a sport that nobody cares about, like women's basketball. Or hockey (Canada excluded).

Pat Bowlen -You shouldn't have let it get this far. At least you are taking a side and it's probably best to take your coach's side. Still, you're captian of the Broncos ship and you have a mutiny on your hands. Slap Shagler around til he plays and show Mc D you're in charge.

Please, Elway, make this stupid soap opera stop. It is embarrassing for Broncos fans everywhere and never should have happened in the first place.

(Now that I'm off the DL, I'll try and get back into posting at least a couple times per week.)