Dr. Eric's Lead Pipe Lock Intel Report Preview Analyst Over/Under Pig Skin Pick 'Em: Week 6

The WTF LOL Bewildering Out-of-Context Quote of the Week

Brandon Marshall on why Jay Cutler made those McDonald's commercials, while simultaneously trying to prove to skeptics that Cutler is not a robot:

"He made them pay. He wouldn't be human if he didn't."

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Chicago @ Atlanta

Kyle “The Defense Prescient-in-ator” Orton is stomping the yard on defenses. Seriously. This world is coming to an end. It's almost like Elisha Manning won a Super Bowl or something.

Winner: Atlanta. Yes, I am picking the Atlanta Falcons to win a game.

Miami @ Houston

Wildcat! The Miami offense Wildcat! Texan’s offensive Wildcat! Tony Wildcat! Kubiak Wildcat! Wildcat! Wildcat! The big questions are Wildcat! And Wildcat! Wildcat! If you watched the Wildcat! game on CBS last Wildcat! then you know Wildcat! what I’m talking Wildcat! about. Wildcat!

Winner: Wildcat! (May I remind you I picked the Dolphins to win last week against the Chargers)

Baltimore @ Indianapolis

-Dude, brah, like, the starting quarterback, brah, for the Baltimore Ravens, brah, for the rest of the year, brah, is going to be Joe Flacco, brah.

-Brah, that’s the balls, brah.

-No, brah, it’s the tits, brah.

-Brah, you are not brah, dawg, brah.

-WTF, brah, I’m brah as bro, brah.

Winner: Indianapolis (I had nothing for this caption)

Detroit @ Minnesota

Ya darn tootin’! Minnesohhhhta! Steve Buscemi will have 24 receptions for 478 yarhhhds and 65 touchdowns, you betcha! Since there are so many non-zoo lions in Detroit, I don’t know how Adrian Peterson will escape Simba, except via punching Scar in the children-makers.

Winner: Minnesohhhhhhta

Oakland @ N’leans

N’leans has a n’sty o’ense that s’res a l’t o’ p’ts. Drew Brees will th’rw f’r a l’t y’rds. And, more importantly, Roger Moore will jump on a lot of crocodiles. D’c M’ca’ls’tr’ is back so they can run the football again. Caaaarazzzy!

Winner: N’l’n’s

Cincinnati @ Football Jets

I could do Marvin Lewis’ job. Seriously. Manage upper class convicts? Easy. Pretend to be an NFL team? Like stealing candy from a orphaned baby. They signed Cedrick “My Party’s in International Waters” Benson. Why not Travis Henry? All he wanted was a year’s supply of nose candy.

Winner: Football Jets

Carolina @ Tampa Bay

Brian Griese is questionable after Champion Bailey rocked him in the face. So will Jeff Garcia start? With he and Jon Gruden's icy relationship, maybe Gruden will ask Steve Smith to punch Garcia in the face.

Winner: Carolina

St. Louis @ Washington

The Football Native Americans had a big win last week over Philadelphia. Who would have thought the Redskins would be good? Well, against the Rams' high school team, it should be a breeze for the skins. If the Rams lose again, maybe they will have to fire the whole team via phone call at three in the morning, just like with Linehan.

Winner: Washington

Jacksonville @ Denver

Jay Cutler apparently throws "hands down" harder than John Elway and "no question" harder than Troy Tulowitzki. He's quite humble for a robot. Cutler also said that he makes Joe Montana "look like a bitch" and that he "craps prettier than Johnny Unitas playing QB." Keep your head small, LL Cool Jay.

Winner: Denver

Dallas @ Arizona

As long as Kurt Warner doesn't retire halfway through the game, this might actually be a real game. Last week, the Cowboys almost lost to the Bengals. THE BENGALS. Jessica Simpson must be doing the offensive play-calling for the Cowboys.

Winner: Dallas (though it will be close)

Philadelphia @ San Fransisco

Everybody's favorite preseason pick, the Eagles, are floundering. That's right. I said floundering in reference to a football team. And the 49ers don't look devastatingly awful. Plus, Donovan McNabb thinks Brian Westbrook's injury is "embarassing" and puked because of it.

Winner: Somehow the 49ers

Green Bay @ Seattle

Mike Holmgren really wants to go out on top. In his supposed last year, he might lead the Seawawks to 4 wins. Oddly enough, that will probably be enough to win the NFC West by at least two games.

Winner: Green Bay

New England @ San Diego

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. With the Patriots entire offense starting a boy band (or getting hurt), and the Chargers entire defense out with 'roid injuries, this game will be a lot less interesting than the Sunday Night Football producers anticipated.

Winner: Chargers

Football Giants @ Cleveland

Juliet has had an entire bye week to get his team to not suck. Maybe it will have to entail starting the perennially overrated Brady Quinn. Quinn reportedly said that he will call Crennel a "homo" if he isn't the starter for this game.

Winner: Football Giants by a landslide

Last Week: 10-4
Overall: 30-13