Hello again everyone. I’m back coming to you live from the brand spankin new headquarters of Frost Brewed Baseball here in beautiful Broomfield, Colorado, and I’ve only got one thing to say to the Rockies…FINALLY! On top of erasing our 8 game losing streak, our 13 game losing streak on the road, and keeping pace with the Seattle Mariners for the worst record in the big leagues, we finally showed some heart, some frustration, and some fight…literally in shutting out los Doyers 3-0. The disappointment of a season turned sour finally boiled over for the Rockies in the form of Yorvit Torrealba Kimbo-Slicing Matt “I wish I was Shawn” Kemp to the ground in the 8th inning after Kemp inexplicably pushed Yorv after striking out on a pitch in the dirt. The supposedly fiery Torrealba hadn’t shown much of any kind of flame, spark, or eruption this year and no one in the Rockies camp seemed to really mind that they are nearly on pace for the dubious distinction of the worst record by a ballclub after a World Series appearance (54 wins by the 1998 Florida Marlins whose owner literally gutted the team like a fish caught for dinner (get it? Marlins…fish) after their 1997 World Series “victory” over my Cleveland Indians.) No one had publically complained to the media, no one had been seen trashing the dugout after failing to get a hit with runners in scoring position, no one had taken any baseball bats to any water coolers or gotten into fights with their underachieving teammates. We were wondering if anybody even cared at all. Now we have our answer.
1) I’ll start with the Fray in LA. In the top of the 7th inning, Yorvit had come to bat and was buzzed with an 0-2 fastball from Cory Wade that nearly caught him in the earhole. Jorv was none the pleased as he dusted himself off. He would eventually ground out to the pitcher. Watching the game, there was a feeling that something was about to go down with Yorv, but as I said before, no one on this team had thus far shown any kind of frustration at all. After Kemp struck out on a yellow snapdragon in the dirt, the ball got away from Yorv and by baseball rule (you can look it up, this game has had rules for 150 years) Yorvit had to tag Kemp out or else he could run to first base. Now I don’t know if Kemp just forgot the rule, was pissed that he struck out on three pitches to cap off an 0-4 night, or that he just thought Yorvit’s pronunciation of the color “purple” in those Rockies commercials was offensive, but 1) he hit the ball with his bat then 2) “cow kicked” Yorvit in the facemask (thank you, George Frazier), and 3) shoved Yorvit after Yorv had tagged him out. Justifiably Yorvit was having none of these shenanigans and challenged him to fisticuffs by punching him in the neck and throwing Kemp to the ground. Kemp has a good 3 inches and 30 pounds on Yorvit too so it was all the more impressive that he was able to finish him so quickly. I came out of this brawl with a newfound respect for Yorvit because when someone pushes you like that, there’s no way you can just walk away from it like nothing happened. Good for you, Yorvit. You’re ok in my book…
2) …though I still think you shouldn’t be starting and here’s why. After Yorvit was ejected, Frost Brewed Baseball’s boy Chris Iannetta stepped to the plate to lead off the 9th inning in Jorv’s spot and smashed the first pitch he saw off the Hollywood sign, exploding it into a million pieces which then rained fire on the hills of Los Angeles. That may be exaggerating a tad, but it was deep. What better way to send a message to the other team by kicking your ass in a fight then blasting a home run immediately after?
3) Was that Jeff Francis on the mound last night? He had his baby face, his passion for hockey, and his effective mix of three quality pitches, but this time he wasn’t getting knocked around the ballpark. In his 7 innings of work, the Franchise gave up only 4 hits (2 in the first inning), 0 runs, and tallied 5 strikeouts. If this is the shape of Jeff to come then I’m all for it because if we’re going to even make a mad dash for .500, we’re going to need him to pitch like he has the last 3 years.
I’m not calling this a turning point in our season because I’ve used it before and it’s totally cliché, like omg. But it has been scientifically proven that fights can sometimes bring teams together and get them straightened out. Especially with Brad, Matt, and Vizcaino about to come off the DL and Tulo ahead of schedule on his rehab, we could definitely improve upon our worst-record-in-baseball status. We’ll see how the boys react in today’s afternoon game as Cookie looks to improve to 8-3 on the year and run our massive winning streak to a grand total of 2 games.
Go fighting.
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