Putting the Mike in Dictator (There’s a “Mike” in dictator, right? No? Screw it.)

Broncos season is creeping ever closer. With Broncos summer camp going on right now, Mike Shanahan is getting ever tanner. Soon he will be a glowing Broncos’ orange. Orange is the color of rage and fury apparently...

It has become more and more evident over the years that Mr. Shanahan rules with an iron playcalling mic. This is probably a result of him frequently being referred to as a genius (Wu Tang Clan ain't nuttin' to eff wit'). He certainly looked like a genius when he finally got Sir John of Elway to win his Super Bowl (twicely). He still looked like a genius when he put up 10+ win seasons and at least made the playoffs (even if they usually lost in first round). Then two consecutive seasons sans playoffs and Broncos country is on the verge of calling for impeachment.

How does courageous Mike respond? Well, he repeatedly says it is his fault and that he didn't get the team prepared well enough (or at least something along those lines). How sweet of him to take the blame. The only problem with Mr. Sweetie Pie himself, is that he immediately overhauls his roster and fires half of his coaches. Ted Sundquist and Jim Bates most recently got thrown under Mike Shanahan's bus. At least he hasn't gone the way of Roger Clemens and thrown his wife under the bus. Or Barry Bonds and thrown his children under the bus. Though he may publicly state otherwise, it appears Shanny believes the Broncos recent failures are the faults of others.

You have to wonder if he takes poor drafting into consideration. The last three seem to be decent (we'll see), but the years before that were a disaster. How many Broncos starters were drafted by the Broncos between 2000-2005? That would be D.J. Williams and Ben Hamilton. That's it. To be fair though, Darrent Williams might be starting if not for his unfortunate death. Of course that poor drafting was all Ted Sundquist's fault; Mike Shanahan had nothing to do with it. When, in '06, the Broncos selected three impact starters (Cutler, Marshall, Dumervil) and important role player (Scheffler), it was like totally Mike Shanahan, brah. All these other douches didn't do crap. In '07, Shanahan single-handedly chose four players (Moss, Crowder, Harris, Thomas) who look to have bright futures. Then, when the team played poorly and lacking in motivation, it was Sundquist's fault for assembling a crap team. And it was Bates' fault when he couldn't coax good performances out of Amon Gordon (he's an actual football player; no, seriously, he is) and 75-year old Sam Adams.

Obviously, I'll have to see the '08 draft class play a bit before I can make a judgment on it (though Ryan Clady will be good... WILL). But still, how many more years of Shanahan dictatorship can the Broncos take? He's a terrific offensive coordinator, but that seems to be about it. The Broncos should try and retain him as an offensive coordinator and hire a defensive coach who knows how to draft to be the head coach. Shanny might not go for it, and teams might try and hire him out from under the Broncos, but it could work with some creative salary negotiating (wink). Jay Cutler could continue his development with the same offensive scheme and he might actually have a defense that helps him out a little bit. Right now, the Broncos are heading in the wrong direction. They need a new leader who can build a defense and inspire them to play with more conviction. I don't think our formerly beloved Mike Shanahan can do that anymore.

Hopeless Spring Ain’t Eternal (Wow. I could be the next Woody Paige.)

Ignore the dumb title. ‘Twas dumb for the sake of dumb; like postdumberism, or something. Neverthenonetheless, the CU Buffs’ spring game this year was full of hope. No, that’s a lie. It was full of kids who wanted to be outside on the sunniest, hottest day of the new year and maybe get their buzz on. There was more roster checking and “who the hell is number…?” than cheering.

Cody Hawkins, whom most probably wanted to see throw a few passes, threw what seemed like two passes, one of which was a decently thrown touchdown. Everyone was pretty proud of him since it’s not often they allow dwarves to play quarterback, even if they are the coach’s son. Outside of the two times that Dan let Cody throw, there were endless option runs, reverses and boredom. Few fans were even watching the game. By the start of the second half, the student section was practically empty, gone to get plowed on The Hill.

There was some excitement, though, when one of the team’s top two recruits (Ralphie V) was unveiled at Folsom (Darrell Scott can’t play until he’s actually enrolled at the school). She took her runners for a ride; they could barely control her. One of them actually got trampled (though he was fine). Ralphie V could dominate some offensive lineman if Hawkins put her at defensive tackle. The new Ralphie could use a bit of practice, though. It seems like a circle is a little hard for her at the moment. She decided to stop near the southern endzone and it took about five dudes, and Dan Hawkins telling her “It’s Division I football!” to get her to run to her trailer.

Outside of Ralphie V and Cody’s two highlights, the football looked pretty pathetic. Either the defensive line is incredible (starters and reserves) or the offensive line is terrible. I hypothesize the latter. The pocket collapsed like Roger Clemens in front of a congressional hearing. I misremember, but I think there were more points off of blocked punts and field goals than runs or passes. Obviously it is a spring game and they aren’t going to be ready, but they looked like a junior high touch-football team could beat them.

Dan Hawkins is supposed to be a great coach and recruiter, and he has recruited some good players so far, but he hasn’t coached them all that well yet. Hawkins’ 97% reverse offense in last year’s bowl game was about as effective as Shelley Duvall’s performance in The Shining. Though Sports Illustrated ranked CU #1 in drunkest college football fans, it’ll be a long while before CU is ranked #1 by the BCS in football playing ability. I wonder if fan drunkenness goes up as football playing ability goes down. Or are they mutually exclusive?