Wow

Just wow. I can't even begin to start to formulate words, much less complete sentences, about the horrifying display of "football" that I witnessed on the part of the Denver Broncos tonight. This was a very telling game for the Broncos coming in. At 4-2 with a porous D, prognosticators across the country had the Broncos pegged as frauds who could just as easily have been 2-4. With a win, the Broncos would sail into their bye week at 5-2 with a 2 game lead on the Chargers. With a loss, the Broncos would be just another 4-3 team who's simply taking advantage of a weak division and will falter by the time the calendar turns to December. Well, it's not even the 4th quarter and I'm writing this now. That should be a telling enough sign as to how this game went. What went wrong? Shit, what went right?

1) A very inauspicious beginning
How about this as a portent of things to come? On the first play of the game Cutler dropped back to pass, followed through and bashed his right index finger on Vince Wolfork's helmet. Immediately after, Cutler was noticeably favoring the finger and his passes weren't as crisp as usual. He never recovered.

2) Andre Hall
Either I was watching the reincarnation of Tatum Bell putting the ball on the ground for the Broncos or Andre Hall had money on the Patriots. How else do you explain getting two carries and fumbling the ball twice? Shortly after the second fumble, as Hall raced to the bench to look for a shovel and an open patch of land, Shanahan's eyes rolled back in his head, he ripped off his clothes, and grew to nearly four times his normal size. Then, alternating between screaming "Beast mode!" and "Shanny angry!" he picked up the diminutive Hall by the throat and reached into the running back's chest to pull out his still beating heart. No word yet on whether charges will be filed on Shanny.

3) Penalties
We made stupid penalties all game, but none more stupider (yes, that was intentionally bad grammar to point out just how stupid the Broncos played) as when we were down 13-0 and had the Patriots pinned against their own end zone on a 3rd and 17. We forced Cassel out of the pocket and made him throw the ball away. Then, inexplicably, Jamie Winborn saw a bug on Matt Cassel's face. He tried to brush it away, but that pesky facemask was getting in the way. So in trying to help Mr. Cassel, he incidentally pulled Cassel's facemask to the ground. While trying to plead his case to the referee, the bug flew away freely as Winborn said a prayer for it.

4) 5 turnovers
Do I really need an explanation for this one? We had four turnovers when we were on the Patriots 40 yard line each time. 'Nuff said.

5) Defense
New England running back Sammy Morris had a career day rushing for 138 yards, a great day for any rusher. I'm not going to mention that he did all that damage in the first half. No, that would be an insult to our defense. No need to focus on the negatives. Over 260 yards rushing on the day given up is insult enough. Matt Cassel might as well have been Tom Brady throwing for 3 touchdowns and a QB rating of over 4,000. That's a real number. With the Patriots averaging 17 points a game coming in, their offense was obviously under fire to play well. Apparently the cure for a sputtering offense is just to play the Broncos. Just ask Kansas City. Where do you go from here? Detroit?

6) Offense
Cutler getting hurt didn't help. Either did Hall's butterfingers. Pittman ran well but he was pretty obsolete once we went down by 500. Cutler couldn't throw the deep ball and was off on his short passes. Penalties killed us all day, but I'll try not to repeat myself. As the game went on, the offense seemed to play excrementally worse. What am I trying to say? It was shitty.

7) Injuries
Jay's aforementioned injury crippled the offense at the beginning, but Champ Bailey's groin stroin or whatever it was handcuffed our already sieve-like defense. Champ was having a phenomenal game, putting the clamps on Randy Moss to the tune of 1 catch for 9 yards. After Champ exited, Moss blew up with two touchdown catches and 60 yards receiving. Also, Boss found a place on his body that he hadn't hurt yet this year and left with a knee injury. I don't know what other maladies affected our team today. Crotch rot? Scurvy? Rickets? Someone has to have rickets.

The Broncos team has some serious 'splainin to do after that abomination of a performance and we as Broncos fans have to decide whether or not our Broncos are destined for another playoff-less season. Too bad we have 13 days to think about it. This isn't the way you want to head into a bye week. Screw it, I'm done. I'm sick of talking about this game. Where's my Coors?

"Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser" -Paul Newman

So, I guess you could say that my prediction (see below) about the Broncos Week 4 matchup with the Chiefs was, I suppose, a bit misguided at best. I was assuming that the Broncos were going to actually play NFL football instead of the ABC sitcom worthy performance they put on the field today. To say it was hard to watch would be like saying that Paul Newman was only a semi-decent actor (may he be partaking in a few cold ones at the afterlife party.) There wasn't just one culprit that brought doom upon our beloved Broncos. I hate writing about the Broncos when they play shitty, but as is usually the case, writing can be cathartic for the wounded soul. So here goes, let's see if I stomp away in anger in the middle of the post...

1) Jay Cutler looked like Jay Mohr.
- Ok, that's a little harsh. It would be tough to look that pitiful in a made for TV performance, but the Jay Man looked rushed, impatient, and indecisive. He locked onto Brandon Marshall on what seemed like every pass play (not even noticing a wide open Tony Scheffler on one of his interceptions) to which any NFL defense, yes even the Chiefs D, was able to predict eventually. That led to his two costly interceptions which (not directly, per se) cost the Broncos valuable momentum (after the Champ forced fumble against Larry Johnson) and eventually the game. He was a shell of the player that we saw the first 3 weeks of the season. In the end, it will probably be better that he experiences a bit of adversity in the early weeks of the season so he's able to bounce back quickly from it, but to be honest, I'm going to throw something out there: The Kansas City Chiefs suck. Their defense sucks, their quarterback sucks, they have 3 good players: Larry Johnson, Dwayne Bowe, and Tony Gonzalez. This is a game we should have owned and Cutler among others didn't show up to play today. If we're on the outside looking in come January, we can easily look back to this game and wonder what the frick happened.

It must be said that, in by far his worst game of the season he still managed to throw for a season high 361 yards. It was still offset by 2 INTs to 1 TD, but still he racked up the yardage.

2) The defense needs a stern talking-to
...or failing that, a visit from Tony Robbins, Dr. Phil, or any other TV psychologist that can diagnose their back-breaking problems with a witty comment or biting remark. First it was our pass defense that was taken advantage of in the first three games, now it's the rush defense that needs an adult in this one. Larry Johnson, who hasn't had a decent game since 2006 and leads the league in whiny post game comments, rushed for almost 200 (200!!!!!!) yards against us with two touchdowns. We were unable to contain his rushes on the outside and it was an even more fruitless endeavor to try and wrap up our tackles when he rushed through the middle. The defense couldn't be bothered with such petty foibles. Tackling? Pshaw! We just wanted the big hit. Executing the fundamentals or wrapping a guy up when you have him in your hands? Pssssshhh! What are you, one of them sissy liberal types? Spencer Larsen had the biggest hit of the game on special teams (then fucking blew it on the most perfectly executed onside kick in the history of onside kicks) and Champ of course had himself his most complete game of the season. Other than that, our execution was abysmal, our tackling was putrid, and results were excreble at best. Grade? F---------------

3) It was the CHIEFS
I heard they hadn't won in a year. That's not a lie.

4) Whoever didn't fumble in the game was apparently subject to a hefty fine by Mike Shanahan
I mean, seriously, 3 fumbles? Call it what you will. Good plays by the Chiefs defense, lack of concentration on the part of the Broncos receivers, a misguided idea on the part of the Bronco players to add a KY wrestling match as part of their pre-game ritual, but what was with the fumbling party going on throughout the game? Was fumbling actually going out of style because the Broncos sure played like it was. I want to know what Shanny was thinking putting Marshall in at running back right before he fumbled away our momentum. Marshall at running back has been a historically risky move. Last year when he lined up there, he either tried to make too many jukes and ran sideline to sideline eventually losing mass amounts of yards, or he fumbled the football. Sometimes, he did both in the same play. Yeah, he's one of the best in football at yards after the catch, but if the catch doesn't happen first, he struggles to even gain positive yards. A questionable coaching decision for sure put the Broncos in a precarious position and gave the Chiefs the football at the Bronco 2 yard line. Not what you want when you travel into enemy territory.

4) Failure to establish any sort of running game
We couldn't get anything going on to the ground today which directly led to our struggles on offense. The running game, a staple of the Mike Shanahan offense, gained a grand total of 94 yards against a defense that allowed over 200 last week against the Raiders. We looked like we weren't sure whether or not we wanted to pass all over their young secondary or try to pound the ball up the middle. That indecision killed us on so many plays when we had a 3rd and short and didn't really make much of an attempt at either a short pass or tough run. When our running game is non-existent, it makes the play action pass (another key component to our offensive gameplan) virtually ineffective. If the defense doesn't believe we're going to run the ball, or at least run the ball with much success, it won't bite on the play-action pass and won't give our receivers the opportunity to gain separation from the defensive backs.

5) Quote of the Day
Regarding Chiefs rookie fullback Mike Cox as told by broadcaster Dan Dierdorf...
...."Mike Cox was smothered by Champ Bailey on that play."

Say his name fast and think about it.

Talk about letting the air out of the balloon. Looking to go 4-0 on the season with what looked to be a sure-win, the Broncos came out and laid an egg. Nothing went right on either side of the football and the Broncos have no one but themselves to blame for this loss. We have Tampa Bay next week, another 3-1 team who outlasted a tough Green Bay team today. Their rush defense is strong, but their secondary is a bit weak. Which Bronco team will show up next Sunday? The one who led the league in offense the first three weeks of the season? Or the one that got in their own way one too many times on Sunday? The answer will determine whether or not we come out of next week 4-1 or 3-2.