Masterson's Musings Part Deux

- So it appears the Broncos have gone back to the tradition of playing glam-rock supergod Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll Part II" after every Broncos touchdown. They had shied away from it the last few years after Gary's, ahem, "unflattering transgressions" had come to light. Child molestation charges be damned! That song gets me fired up!

- The Mets and Brewers both put their September chokes on hold for at least one night by winning both of their games in dramatic, walk-off fashion. It's a good thing too. Both Mr. Met and Bernie Brewer had mysteriously disappeared before their respective games. After the wins, it was discovered that Bernie had ridden off on his Harley with a 30 rack of Beast Light, leaving Mrs. Brewer alone with their handicapped child, Beast Ice. Mr. Met, stumbled into Shea Stadium in the 9th inning, a blue ribbon attached to his jersey proclaiming he had finished 4th in a Barry Bonds look-alike contest in a Staten Island bar. More to come on the status of these two mascots after this weekend of play.

- Jorge de la Rosa picked up his 10th win of the year tonight for the Rockies as he shut down the almighty powerful (AA) Giants lineup in San Fran. Though he did have an odd sequence to start off the second inning. He crossed up his catcher, fired one to the backstop, and then proceeded to do the same thing again, but magically kept a run from scoring when one of his Dontrelle Willis' bounced right back to Chris Iannetta and he tagged the runner out at the plate. No word yet on whether Kevin Costner told him to do this.

- So I was watching The Patriot starring Mel Gibson today and it got me thinking. Instead of Mel Gibson for the role of Benjamin Martin, what about a real Patriot, like Tom Brady? I can see it now.....his son, passionately telling his father that he must fight for his country.

Tom Brady's son: I am not a child!
Tom Brady: You're my child!.......I think, wait, which one's your mother again? You were the little bastard I had with Bridget Moynahan, right? Or were you Gisele? Shit, I can't keep track of all that hot chicks I've banged in my life. Ah, what the hell, go to war. I'll still look good on the cover of GQ talking about God and how he guides all of my touchdown passes with his loving hand.

Or better yet, how about America's Golden Boy, Brett Favre? ESPN says he loves America. They also say he singlehandedly ended the War on Terror by playing in a homo-erotic, multiracial flag football game with Osama bin Laden. Can't you imagine this scene from the Patriot? Favre with the American flag, charging the limey British general, making sure his Wranglers are spotless, he pops a Prilosec OTC (or was that a pain pill?) and jams the soul of America into the heart of those cheeky Brits. I think a tear just fell from my eye...

-I'm almost positive that we could cut down on violence in this country by about 57% if every year, we had a National Punch AJ Pierzynski In The Face Day.

-Go Broncos.