Rox Recap 7/23/08 (Let's Kick the Tires and Light the Fires, Big Daddy)

Last night I had this awesome dream that I was watching a Rockies game with Will Smith. I know I know, some of you may think I have a Will Smith "fetish," that I need "help," that I'm "slowly" going "crazy," but I'm serious. We were watching the Rockies playing the Dodgers. The Rockies were up 5-3 in the 8th inning with runners on second and third with only 1 out. Buchholz was pitching and even though he's been lights-out this year, this had all the makings of the classic Rockies baseball we've seen so far. So I bury my head in my hands, unable to watch us come apart once again when, in my dream, Will Smith puts his hand on my shoulder and says "Do not fret, my son. Fear no evil for thou art with me." And with that, I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes. I no longer felt impending doom upon me or the Rockies. Buchholz struck out the next two batters, Fuentes pitched an almost perfect 9th and we took 2 of 3 from the Dodgers to move within 6 games of first place.

1) Ian K Stewart's "K" no longer stands for "striKeout." With his ridiculous hot streak since being called up from the Springs, the K should stand for something more flattering like "King Stew" or "Kool guy." For seriously though since he was called up in the middle of the Pittsburgh series all he's done is go 11-20 with one home run and 11 rbi's in 5 games. He's also 7-9 off lefthanded pitchers which is almost as cool as the fact that he's only struck out 4 times since his callup. Seeing as how the guy struck out 28 times in 55 at bats in his previous stint with the big club, that's a telling stat to how hard he worked to improve himself when he was sent down.

2) Give it up for the much maligned Rockies bullpen! Whoo! Yeah! Give it up! Holla til you pass out! Trace Atkins could have provided the soundtrack for the Dodgers bats in the late innings yesterday with his number 1 smash hit "Swing batta batta swing batta batta swing batta batta swaaaaaaaaang." Habeas Corpas comes in in the 7th with men on base. Recipe for disaster? Hardly. Instead of his usual meatballs, Corpas served up some hot stinky cheese to Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier who both looked foolish as they struck out swinging. I already told you of my Will Smith-Taylor Buchholz prophecy, and in the 9th Fuentes shut 'er down once again to polish off the victory and put the finishing touches on a 6-1 homestand to start the second half.

3) Speaking of Fuentes...for real? He's been unbelievable lately. Though he gave up a single to Matt Kemp with 2 out in the 9th, he had retired 23 batters in a row in his previous 7 outings, a Rockies franchise record. He also recorded his 102nd career save on Wednesday tying him with the incomparable, the legendary Jose Jimenez for 1st on the Rockies all time list. I know the trade deadline's approaching and we're still 13 games under .500 and we could probably get someone good for him since first time contenders are likely to overpay for him (ahem, Rays), but right now I don't see how we can get rid of him. I know I shouldn't be optimistic about this season, but optimism is my fatal flaw. My only flaw, true, but it can be fatal.

This next 10 game road trip will let me know how far my optimism will take me. We have to win at least 6 games to really believe that we have a shot at the division.

Go Bruce Billings (no hitter for single-A Asheville)

An Open Letter to the Rockies

It'll make sense in a minute...

Disclaimer: This post is predicated on Dan O'Dowd making intelligent decisions. Long shot, I know, but for argument's sake, let's say he is smart. Also, I know it is extremely unpopular and you'll probably wonder how the hell I could feel this way, but allow me to explain myself in epistolary form...

Dear Rockies,

What's up? How's your summer going? Tell the Broncos "hey." Now let me get down to business.

Trade people. Seriously, do it. Just do it. Nike. Trade Holliday. Trade Fuentes. Trade Helton. Trade Atkins. Trade Taveras. Trade Barmes. Hell, trade Glendon frickin' Rusch if you can.

Now, you may be thinking, "What in the name of Milli Vanilli? Are you cah-razy?" Well, quit asking me questions. I'm not an encyclopedia. Let me instead ask you a question. Do you like to win? Because you aren't winning this year (though you are doing better lately and the NL West is not exactly hard) and things aren't really looking bright for the next few years either.

You could trade basically everyone except the young, cost-controlled guys (Tulo, Hawpe, Iannetta, Francis, Cook, Corpas, Buchholz, Jimenez, Spilly, Stewart, and obviously all the minor leaguers). You aren't going to spend 15 mil per yr for 7 years for Holliday. Fuentes will cost more than he is worth in free agency. Atkins is having a subtly mediocre year disguised as a good one and he only has two more years left before he leaves to follow one of his BFFs, Holliday or Utley. Plus Ian Stewart is almost as good as Atkins right now, and will grow to be better than Atkins (probably). He also plays for chicken feed, at least by baseball standards (I sure as shoot wouldn't mind making 390k a year).

You already tried a few trades, which included Carlos Carrasco and Fernando Martinez. Both are extremely overrated. But you did try and get Lou Marson too. Do stuff like that! Get good prospects. The Rays apparently like a bunch of people. They've got young pitchers like whoa. Maybe you could get Phil Hughes from the Yankees.

It would suck now. You'd lose a lot of games this season. And probably next season too. But if you got the right prospects, and didn't get fleeced in trades, in 2010 you could be jammin' mon. The system is weak after Reynolds and Fowler. Sure the 07 class is looking pretty core, but they're mostly in A-ball. They've got some proving to do.

Okay, I'll admit it. The A's are my number 2 team after the Rockies. They've gotten rid of half the roster from the 2006 ALCS team, but they also will be the top minor league system for any intelligent baseball analysts at the start of next year. This means when they finally get out of the crappy city of Oakland and move to Fremont, they'll be in the playoffs every year for many years.

Why can't you do that too? At some point you've got to look at your cards and realize you gotta fold. It'll suck to see some fan favorites go, but it's also fun to get psyched on a super prospect, especially when you robbed another team. Beane has fleeced the Cubs (twice), the Braves, the Diamondbacks, the White Sox, and the Phillies in the last year. You have plenty of time to start fleecing. Replenish your prospects. No more one year fluke World Series and then back to crappiness. You gotta build for prolonged success. As a fan, I'm telling you that I'd much rather see a win than the lovable Todd Helton decline into not being able to slug the ball out of the infield. Baseball is a business and the currency is wins, not fan favorites. Go out there and get yourself some future wins. Pretty please.

With Bitter Love,
Me

P.S. Go Jimmy-nez. I'm not usually one for intangibles, but goll dang that kid's got some make-up. Now, if he could just strike some people out...
P.P.S.S. Stewart rakes, finally. That dude can hit the ball a long ways.

Rox Recap 7/20/08 (Sweep? Tight!)

A sweep? Yeah, I know, right? I didn't think it could happen either. You could have told me Will Smith was starring as John McCain in a new summer blockbuster and I would have thought it more plausible than the Rockies sweeping a team, any team, in four straight games. With the way this team was playing as it fell face first into the All-Star break, I wasn't even sure if we'd win another series the entire season. In that series with the Mets, what did we have, like 4 hits? And Brad Hawpe had 3 of them? Not exactly a recipe for success. Now that we're four games into the second half, there's a glint of fire in the eyes of these Rockies players not seen since last October. As they stand now, only 6 games back of the Dodgers and D-Bags with Los Doyers coming to town for a 3 game set, all of a sudden it seems like anything is possible...just don't look at their overall record (it's still an embarassing 43-57).

1) Cookie looked as if he was still a bit hungover from his magical and breathtaking performance in the All-Star game in the first inning. He was rushing his delivery, his sinker was flat, and his command was AWOL. Before I had a chance to grab a Coors and a seat on the couch we were looking square in the face of a 3-0 deficit. Then, as if Major Payne had just come into the dugout and scared Cookie straight, he was nearly unhittable for the next 6 innings. For example, he threw 25 pitches in the first inning...and only 57 the rest of the way. He faced the minimum 18 hitters after the first and only allowed one baserunner who was subsequently erased on a double play. It was about as dominating as Cookie has been this season as he notched his 12th win of the season possibly on his way to becoming the first Rockies 20 game winner.

2) This is big time for Ian K Stewart in his development to become a Rockies regular. With God Helton out for an indefinite period of time, Garrett's going to take over the first base duties with Shake and Bake manning second base. That leaves a golden opportunity for Stewie to take advantage of consistent playing time and prove to the Rockies front office, manager, fellow ballplayers, and fans that his potential and power are worth the mass quantities of strikeouts. Today was hopefully the start of a beautiful relationship. With two, two-out rbi doubles (3 rbis in all), both off left handed pitching, Ian is starting to make a case that he not only belongs in the big leagues, but that he can be productive while doing it. So what if he struck out his other two plate appearances. I'll take 2-4 with 3 rbis every game and I think the rest of the Rockies will too. The Rockies radio team of Jeff and Jack today gave a pretty telling stat of Stew's potential. This season when Ian puts the ball in play, he's 15-32 (.469). The problem is, he's struck out 31 times in his 63 at bats. With more playing time, he's bound to get more comfortable in his own skin.

3) Back to back jacks are always fun.

4) Can we trade Taveras yet? Or Torrealba? Pleeeeeeease?

Tulo's raking in AA and hopefully it'll translate when we activate him off the DL for tomorrow's game.

Go Asheville Tourists.

Memo to Brett Favre...

...fuck you, buddy. Nobody cares about your stupid problems. The fact that the national media (ok, ESPN) has done nothing more than get down on their knees and fellatiate (is that a word?) you and Yankee Stadium the last few weeks is disgusting enough, but now the fact that you're adding to it by complaining to said media about the mistreatment you've been receiving from the Peckers, er, Packers is enough to warrant a stick in the eye. I was ready to give you the credit that you actually do deserve when you retired and I was ready to call you one of the top 5 greatest quarterbacks of all time, but you need to go away. I don't give two shits who you play for next year whether it be the Packers, the Bears, the Toronto Argonauts, the Rhine Fire, the Philadelphia Soul, or the frickin New York/New Jersey Metrostars, just go the hell away...and stay out of Denver.

Love,
Anthony

Rox First Half Recap (What the F#$% happened?)

Here we are at the All-Star break. Yep, it's already that time and as Rockies fans, the team is in a place we are so unfortunately accustomed to seeing them. While Rocktober faded, the Rockies incredible run to the World Series gave us a winter of content rather than, well, dis-content. But as Rockpril turned to Rock-ay which gave way to a rocky Rock-une, Rockies fans slowly came to the sad realization that while inexplicably magical, the famed postseason run was a once in a lifetime, lightning-in-a-bottle kind of experience. There are many culprits that can be blamed for the Rocks woes all the way from the front office down to the equipment the players use (there's a rumor a bat tried to murder Troy Tulowitzki. Luckily he escaped with only a minor cut on his hand.) For your viewing pleasure, I will now handicap the Rockies season player by player with a few short sentences, no doubt relieving those of you reading whose attention spans can be measured in nanoseconds (thank you, Ernest Borgnine.)

Willy Taveras (.247 avg, 1 hr, 18 rbi, 39 steals, .296 on base percentage)
- Though his steals lead the Major Leagues, when you're a leadoff hitter getting on base is kinda sorta important occasionally. .296 just aint' gettin r dun. He's just keeping the centerfield spot warm for Dexter Fowler.

Troy Tulowitzki (.166, 3, 16, .246 obp)
- Troy's play thus far this season has been about as good as his acting. If you've seen him in any commercials, you know how pitiful that is. Though his injuries haven't helped (self inflicted or not) it's been incredibly painful to watch Tulo struggle through the season. He looks more Culo than Tulo at times.

Matt Holliday (.337, 14, 51, .421, .553 slugging %)
- One of the few bright spots on an otherwise dismal team. Made his 3rd consecutive All Star Game and knocked a dinger in the process. I'm going to miss him when he gets traded to a team that can actually pay for his type of talent.

Todd Helton (.266, 7, 29, .393)
- Is and will always will be my favorite player of all time, but chronic back injuries have finally caught up with him. Won't ever match his previous power numbers again, and sadly might not be able to make a full recovery. Only time will tell and I hope to Elway that he returns healthy and productive.

Garrett Atkins (.304, 14, 54, .341)
- Having another consistently good season. His numbers were probably good enough to merit an All-Star berth but his position is so stacked that it would be tough to crack the roster. Wanted in 27 states for murdering left handed pitching at a .461 clip.

Brad Hawpe (.252, 14, 40)
- Will always be one of the most consistently inconsistent players in baseball. He can go for a week where he hits 7 home runs and follow it with a week where he strikes out 16 times. But man when he gets hot...

Chris Iannetta (.274, 9, 34)
- Finally living up to the number 1 catcher potential he displayed throughout the minor leagues. Hitting for power and a decent average while garnering more playing time from Skip Hurdle. Hopefully they'll get rid of Yorvit and give the reins solely to Chris.

(Insert Second Baseman Here)
- Baker got hot for a while and is having a decent go at it, Barmes has cooled off considerably since coming off the DL, Ian Stewart was last seen swinging a piece of swiss cheese instead of his normal wooden bat, Jayson Nix.......naw, it's too easy.

Ok, so I didn't realize how much time this was going to take. I got through most of the lineup. Spilly's also good too which of course means he's on the disabled list. Oh cruel fate, how you mock us Rockies fans.

Mid Season Minor League Report

Well, it's the All-Star Break, the Rockies are terrible; why not check out what's going on down on the farm?

Colorado Springs Sky Sox

Ian Strikeout Stewart has cooled off with somewhat. He still has a gaudy slugging percentage (.606), but his stats are trending down, rather than up. He keeps on striking out, too, with 13 in his last 39 ABs. Other than that, there isn't much to rave about. Colonel and Cory Sully are unspectacular, both okay with the bat. They are, however, on the old side. Same with Adam Melhuse, who is also hitting well.

The Sky Sox pitching has been an absolute disaster. Franklin Morales collapsed like a building on the hit FOX reality show When Buildings Collapse. He isn't far from walking a batter an inning. Jason Hirsh is pitching almost as poorly (31 BB in 45.2 IP). Both were supposed to be great prospects and neither is even serviceable at this point. Steven Register is pretty much their only decent pitcher right now. He has a 39/12 K/BB ratio and a 2.93 ERA. It might be a good idea for the Rockies to call him up soon--they could always use bullpen help.

Tulsa Drillers

Dexter Fowler has to be the shining light at the end of the tunnel for the Rockies. I mean, the guy is ridiculous. He is slugging .510 and is getting on base at a .412 clip. Also, if you watched the Futures game on Sunday, you know that he belongs on the US Olympic sprinting team. Eric Young Jr. is getting on base well (.396), but has a very poor stolen base percentage (68%). Tony Blanco is hittin very well (1.036 OPS), but he is also 26, which isn't a good sign for major league contribution as he is about at his peak age in double-A.

On the pitching end, Brandon Hynick looked so good last year, but he is just giving up too many home runs. His 1.68 HR/9 is by far the highest in the Texas League. He's got to figure out some way to fix that or Coors Field, even with the humidor, will eat him alive. Chaz Roe has used his power fastball rather effectively (2.96 ERA). Ryan Mattheus and Casey Weathers are making up a back end of the bullpen tandem and have put up very similar numbers. Both strike out a lot and walk a lot. Weathers has been somewhat better and is more projectable. There's a good chance he'll be in a Rockies uniform by September.

Modesto Nuts

Michael McKenry has overcome his horrible start to have a passable season (.257/.358/.448). It isn't nearly as good as his last season and he is too old for A ball at 23. He could be a very good backup catcher some day (Chris Ianetta, what! What!).

Though their hitting has been on the pathetic side, Modesto has some good pitchers. Keith Weiser (1.11 WHIP) and Aneury Rodriguez (1.13 WHIP) are anchoring the front of the rotation with William Harris (55/11 K/BB ratio) and Andrew Johnston (0.92 WHIP) holding down the bullpen fort. Jhoulys Chacin recently got called up from Asheville and has continued his rocking of hitters with a 0.86 ERA. This guy could be some major league pitcher.

Asheville Tourists

Darin Holcomb destroys. How he got to the 12th round is a mystery--a mystery that only helps the Rockies. His stat line--.337/.409/.550. The other two high-pick hitters, Brian Rike and David Christensen are not looking too good. Rike started hot, but has been awful lately, cooling off to a weak .768 OPS. Christensen has been a disaster (.273 OBP). He was a terrible 2nd round pick anyway you look at it. If he makes the majors, I'll buy a Barry Bonds uniform and wear it at least once a week. Last year's third rounder, Lars Davis has been weak too (.636 OPS).

Last year's fifth rounder, Connor Graham, has posted an unholy 1.92 ERA. His 51 walks in 103.1 IP is a little scary and needs fixing, but it hasn't hurt him so far (it will though). Cory Riordan (3.49 ERA) and Bruce Billings (3.92 ERA) have been solid, if unspectacular. Meanwhile, they have boasted a strong bullpen with Joey Williamson, Edgmer Escalona, Craig Baker and Craig Rodriguez all putting up ERAs in the low 2's.

Extras

George Frazier's little offspring Parker has been jamming for Tri-City (17/3 K/BB ratio). This year's first rounder, Christian Friedrich has got off to an inauspicious start with two earned runs in two earned innings. Here's hoping he turns it around.

Rox Recap 7/6/08 (Can This Week Keep Going, Please?)

Hello everyone, Anthony Masterson back again. If you had taken a vow of silence or gone on a hunger strike until you saw a new blog post from yours truly, I sincerely apologize. My hard drive crashed on my computer (a little tip: never buy a computer from Toshiba. Just don't do it) and I had to take a little hiatus from the blog-o-sphere. Now that I'm making my triumphant return, I can promise you that this will not be my most intense, longest, or even wittiest post, but I feel like I should throw a few comments out there about the most successful week of the Rockies season.

Here's a few optimistic tidbits for our Rockos:

1) The 37 wins by the Rockies are the most they've had all year.

2) The Rockies haven't been beaten this season when scoring 18 runs.

3) I know as Rockies fans, I'd be crazier than Courtney Love if I thought that I had the right to be greedy about my team. There's no time when I should ever think that the Rockies should win or should be expected to win, but going into today's finale with the Marlins, I was expecting a sweep. With the 3 victories over the Fish to start the series including two walks offs including one of the most ridiculous, improbable, incomprehensible wins in Rockies history on Friday night, I thought that with our All-Star ace on the hill the Marlins would be no match for the suddenly sizzling Rockies. Shit, was I wrong. Cook labored through 7.1 innings without even his C+ stuff and still should have come away with a victory if it wasn't for the Rockies' unsteady clutch hitting.

4) Now that we're heading into Milwaukee with a newfound confidence, I was feeling pretty good until I heard the news today of the trade of CC Sabathia from Cleveland to the Brew Crew. It was both incredibly upsetting and wholly disheartening being an Indians fan as well. He's set to make his de-Brew (patent pending) as early as Tuesday against former Major League batting practice pitcher Mark Redman. Uh oh. That doesn't bode well for the Rocks one bit.

Sorry this is so short but I need to head to Boulder to, uh, meet some friends. Though I, Robot is on Fx. Decisions, decisions.

Go Broncos.

Anger Management Starring Adam Sandler

Seriously, Tulo?

In case you were unawares, Tulo has some anger issues. Often when he strikes out, for some reason he thinks it is the ground's fault, because he takes his bat and hits the shucks out of the ground. Maybe he confuses the ground with the ball. After all, Tulo isn't renowned for his intellectual prowess. Tulo's response on what he learned from bat'splosiongate 08 (yes, you can add -gate to any kind of shifty goings-on and don't talk to me about any frickin' hotel names, okay? I will not have a suffixgate on my hands): "I need to control myself better and not, you know, pound the bat into the ground." Poetry, thy name is Troy Tulowitzki. With that kind of elocution, Troy should soon surpass Rube Baker as the major league leader in eloquence.

Point of clarification: Tulo got pissed because of his poor performance and slammed his bat on the tunnel floor. Upon impact, the bat 'splosioned in his hand and sliced it up pretty well. After 16 stitches, he'll be out for a couple weeks.

As far as stupid injuries go, this is pretty high up. It could join the likes of Joel Zumaya playing too much Guitar Hero and Milton Bradley falling awkwardly and tearing his ACL after his manager pulled him away from an umpire. According to basically all Rockies media coverage, Tulo is a "gamer" and values wins over everything else. They hate to lose. Gamers hate losing more than Jim Tressel hates sweater sleeves. I guess Tulo's anger at the Rockies' patheticness is understandable and a bat 'splosion is totally random, but still. Tulo should have at least injured himself fighting a grizzly bear or something.

SAT time:
Tulo:Hand Injuries::Steve Phillips:________
a) Baseball Analysis
b) General Managing
c) Color Commentating

Answer that is unfortunately right side up, since I can't type upside down: All of the above because they are all stupid trainwrecks that should not exist.

They say the Lord works in mysterious ways and I'm not really sure what John Elway was doing here by 'splosioning the bat. Maybe he was teaching Tulo to control his anger, I don't know.