Big Trade for Big Daddy

Wow, I'm like the Bill Paxton of Windows Paint.

As you, me and most indigenous tribes deep in the Amazon who have never spoken to the outside world have heard, Matt Holliday has been traded to the Oakland Athletics for Carlos Gonzalez, Greg Smith and Huston Street.

Allow me to preface this by saying that the Rockies are my #1 favorite baseball team. But... the A's are my #1a. I love them nearly as dearly as my beloved Rockies. So, I have watched, rooted for and read about all four players very extensively. Luckily for me, I can't lose here. For both teams, and their fans, there is plenty to lose. So, I will look at this trade as objectively as I can for both teams, player by player.

Matt Holliday

He's the face of the franchise and has been the team MVP for two years running (at least by my count). Losing him is not an easy thing for the Rockies. That being said, he was on his way to free agency and a contract that would exceed the GDP of every country in the European Union combined. Now, I think people realize the 2007 Disney movie that was the Rockies team is over and the credits are through rolling. It isn't financially viable for the Rockies to buy Scott Boras a new beach-front house with a Holliday contract. That's why the Holliday firesale occured and O'Dowd picked the highest bidder, which turned out to be the A's. What the A's get is an established right-handed bat in a heavily left-handed lineup. He has one year with the A's in 2009 and then heads into free agency. The A's aren't dumb enough to pay one corner outfielder $25 mil a year well into his mid-thirties, no matter how good he is. Billy Beane is essentially playing real estate agent here. He will probably leverage the crap out of Holliday and see if he can't Sabathia him into a greater return than what he gave to the Rockies. If he can't find a deal, he'll let Holliday go to the Yankees, Red Sox, Angels, Dodgers, Mets or anyone else who can overpay him, while Beane collects his two first round draft picks. There is, of course, a relatively decent chance that the A's (Holliday's Godzilla bat in tow) can overtake the overrated and aging Angels in the AL West and be a contender. If this is the case, they may pay Holliday to stick around and be their franchise as they finalize a move to Fremont, but this is very unlikely. Holliday is basically a new, and valuable, trading chip for Billy Beane, probably not much more.

Carlos Gonzalez

This guy craps talent and pisses ability. He can play average to decent center field right now (and exceptional right field when Dexter Fowler is ready) and he has the potential to hit 30 home runs. A good center fielder who can hit 30 home runs is about as common as a an uninjured Broncos running back. When you find a player with that ability, you grab on and hold tight. That being said, CarGon (or C-Gon) is very unrefined. He has suspect plate discipline (0.16 BB/K ratio in his major league stint), which is probably why Beane traded him. In the minors, he didn't consistently display his talent in the stat column (career .813 OPS in the minors). Still, his talent is hard to match. His speed, power and arm strength all grade as well above average and his arm is exceptional. What O'Dowd has gone for in CarGon is pure, unadulterated talent. He could be a better fielding Grady Sizemore, or he could be a talented bench player who can't seem to put it together. CarGon is by no means can't miss, but if he's a hit, he'll be an out of the parker. It is a ballsy move by the gambling O'Dowd.

Greg Smith

Nibbles, as he has been unaffectionately called, is a soft-tossing lefty that won't blow you away, but will be effective. His fastball averages 87.6 mph, but he can place it where he wants. Probably his best pitch is his cutter/slider that ranges from 80-86 mph. He'll also serve up a passable change-up and a pretty good hook. Nibbles has outstanding command of all of his pitches (except maybe the curve). His problem, though, is that he spends too much time trying to place each pitch on the black (hence the nickname). In the minors, he rarely walked people (2.64 BB/9), but in the majors he got preoccupied with nibbling at the corners and gave up 87 free passes in 190.1 innings. He can strike people out, but he's no Tim Lincecum, so he can't get to caught up placing everything right on the edge of the plate. At the same time, Coors Field is not going to keep balls in the park like the Coliseum. His 34.2% fly ball rate and 45.5% ground ball rate are not particularly good signs for Smith. He may be watching a lot of big flies from the mound. That being said, he is a much better back end of the rotation guy than Jason Hirsh and Franklin Morales. A rotation of Cook, Jimenez, Francis, Smith and De La Rosa/whoever wins the job is much improved over last year's. Smith won't be flashy or exceptional, but he will eat 190+ innings and give you a chance to win. Expect a 4.50 era out of him, but many a home run. P.S. Though it is not much more than ancillary, Greg Smith has one of the best pickoff moves in baseball.

Huston Street

The rumors are saying that O'Dowd wants to turn around and deal Street elsewhere. I'm inclined to agree. Streeter was a great pitcher. Was. And Buchholz and Corpas are capable late relievers. Let's play a game. It's called Fastball Velocity and Our Economy: Plummet Away...
2006 - 91.7 mph
2007 - 90.4 mph
2008 - 90.0 mph
Now let's play Walking Batters and NFL Fines: Soar to the Heavens...
2006 - 1.66 BB/9
2007 - 2.16 BB/9
2008 - 3.47 BB/9
Streeter is by no means a bad pitcher, but he is also showing signs of decline. O'Dowd more or less picked him up for his reputation. If that is the case, and he turns around and trades Street for something better but less reputable, then, for the first time in my life, I will commend Dan O'Dowd for his baseball intelligence (but it will probably be the only time). If the Rockies keep him, Streeter will be a functional but expensive (he has two years left of arbitration raises) reliever. If the Rockies trade him for good players, well done O'Dowd.

Conclusion

Basically, Billy Beane picked himself up a fancy and expensive house. He's going to paint it, maybe refurnish the kitchen, and pitch it to someone else for a higher price. Beane got O'Dowd to buy in on CarGon's potential and Streeter's reputation. Nibbles is a throw in that will hold a rotation spot, but not really excel. Holliday will net the A's either two first round picks or multiple prospects that will be as good (but at more needed positions) or better than CarGon, Streeter and Nibbles. This is probably a loss for the Rockies and a win for the A's. Who knows though? Perhaps CarGon will be the next Sizemore/Beltran and Smith will be the second coming of Tom Glavine, while Street picks up other good prospects. At this point, though, O'Dowd should put a for sale sign on Garrett Atkins and Todd Helton, and see what he can get. Helton would be salary dumping, while Koshansky fills his spot. Atkins and maybe Street could get a very good return package (obviously, it's time for Ian "Do You Think I'm Sexy" Stewart to play third). Maybe throw in Willy Taveras and the Rockies will have cleaned up a bit of a mess and moved on for their next push at a playoff run (maybe 2010). Hawper in left, D-Fowl in center, and CarGon in right could be quite an outfield. I guess we'll have to wait and see if O'Dowd didn't get fleeced.

Where do we go from here, babygirl?

Well, the trade deadline has come and gone. The Rockies valiant post-All-Star Break play has come and gone. OUR ROTATION FEATURES GLENDON RUSCH, JORGE DE LA ROSA AND VALERIO DE LOS SANTOS. Okay, I know Jeffrey William Francis will be back in the rotation--this time sans injury--but seriously? The Royals wouldn't even take De La Rosa as a fifth starter and he's our third starter? The 42-68 Padres thought Rusch wasn't good enough for their team. Then there's Valerio De Los Santos. He wasn't good enough for anyone in America to want him on their team. Welcome to Colorado, Valerie of the Saints. Pitch well and with vigor.

Dan O' Dowd in his infinite wisdom decided that the Rockies were contenders. Maybe Terry Malloy shoulda been a contendah, but the Rockies don't pitch on the waterfront. They pitch at the stoop of the mountains, where balls fly higher than a beach ball at a Nickelback concert.

Let's pontificate on this for a moment... Jimmy is learning how to strikeout, Cook's striking more out and walking fewer, Francis isn't hurt and screwing with his delivery anymore. Then we have Gregford Reynolds the first starting to figure stuff out at AAA. Morales and Hirsh are slowly but surely being taught that the object of the game is to throw the ball across the plate, not at the batter, at the ump, into the stands, toward Uzbekistan. Dan O'Dowd's answer is let Rusch, De La Rosa and De Los Santos take us to the promised land. The Rockies are only 8 games out!

Wouldn't it maybe make sense to focus on the future? Stew and Iannetta are destroying; Tulo remembered how to hit; U-Ball is using the stuff of the gods to get swings and misses; Dexter Fowler is blitzkrieging AA pitching. The Rockies might just have a future with those players and a rotation of Cook, U-Ball, Francis, Reynolds and either Hirsh or Morales (may be better suited for the pen).

I understand not trading T-Rex Fuentes--the Rockies get two first round compensatory picks for him. Perhaps Dan of O'Derr will pick up two college players on the fast track. But, as much as it hurts, Holliday and Helton should be traded. Helton, though he gets on base more than the Dark Knight gets ticket sales, is too expensive. The duo of Atkins at first and Ian "Do you think I'm sexy?" Stewart at third base is much more cost effective and not a huge dropoff in production. Also keep in mind that Atkins is one of the worst fielding third basemen in baseball and is better suited for first. Last year, he had the second worse plus/minus, after Ryan Braun, of all third basemen (-29). Over the last three years Atkins is fifth worst of all third basemen. He had a -12 FRAA last year. To put it bluntly, Atkins blows at third base, no matter how you look at it.

So for the next few years you have an infield of: Atkins-1st, Baker or eventually EY Jr.-2nd, Stewart-3rd, Tulo-SS, Iannetta-Catch. That is a pretty decent infield and all relatively cheap.

Holliday's replacement would be tougher. Hawper is a good hitter and functional outfielder, who is under control, at a decent wage, till 2010/11 with option. Taveras sucks and is a fourth outfield/pinch runner at best. Seth Smith is a replacement player, who will provide slightly less than Keanu Reeves value, but still not a huge gap in the lineup. Dex Fowler is certified stuck off the realness and will be one hell of a center fielder and, since he hasn't appeared in the majors yet, will be around until at least 2014. So Seth Smith would have to fill in for Holliday. But that depends what we would get in return for Holliday. Future ace? Sluggifier? Left field is usually a pretty easy position to fill. All you have to do is find a fat first basemen who can run a bit and stick him in the outfield. Hell, Joe Koshansky could learn to play left and he could provide Brad Hawpe like production at the major league level.

So trade Helton and Holliday and the conclusion: reduce the payroll by huge margin, lose maybe 30-50 runs in the short term, and add prospects that could eventually make up those 30-50 runs and possibly add more. It'll hurt ticket sales and fan's feelings, but it'll add wins in the future (if, of course, O'Dowd gets good prospects).

There's no chance of contending this year; there's a small chance to contend next year; and if, O'Dowd plays his cards right he'll have a good chance in 2010-2012ish, before having to rebuild with the losses of Atkins, Hawpe, Cook, Francis and soon after Tulo and Manny.

The D-Bags are only going to improve, and will provide intense competition. Luckily, Ned Colletti is a complete moron and got robbed by the Red Sox and Bucs. I'm so excited that I won't be seeing Andy LaRoche in Dodger blue. Maybe even the Dodgers will sign Manny Being Ramirez for $100mil/4yr like he thinks he deserves. It would be amazing to watch him hit like 10 home runs at 40 and get paid $25 mil by the Dodgers, while limping his way around the outfield, of course. I am concerned though that Manny won't fit in with the gamer mentality of the Dodgers. Manny can hit, he doesn't hustle, he doesn't have a beard and he doesn't scrap. Hmmm, how do you win games with that? If only the Dodgers had a team of Juan Pierres, Casey Blakes and Nomar Garciaparras, they'd score like 100 runs per season and scrap their way to five wins.

Okay, that was meandering and incoherent, but I'm sick and it's about 90 degrees at Frost Brewed Baseball Headquarters. So, please forgive me.

An Open Letter to the Rockies

It'll make sense in a minute...

Disclaimer: This post is predicated on Dan O'Dowd making intelligent decisions. Long shot, I know, but for argument's sake, let's say he is smart. Also, I know it is extremely unpopular and you'll probably wonder how the hell I could feel this way, but allow me to explain myself in epistolary form...

Dear Rockies,

What's up? How's your summer going? Tell the Broncos "hey." Now let me get down to business.

Trade people. Seriously, do it. Just do it. Nike. Trade Holliday. Trade Fuentes. Trade Helton. Trade Atkins. Trade Taveras. Trade Barmes. Hell, trade Glendon frickin' Rusch if you can.

Now, you may be thinking, "What in the name of Milli Vanilli? Are you cah-razy?" Well, quit asking me questions. I'm not an encyclopedia. Let me instead ask you a question. Do you like to win? Because you aren't winning this year (though you are doing better lately and the NL West is not exactly hard) and things aren't really looking bright for the next few years either.

You could trade basically everyone except the young, cost-controlled guys (Tulo, Hawpe, Iannetta, Francis, Cook, Corpas, Buchholz, Jimenez, Spilly, Stewart, and obviously all the minor leaguers). You aren't going to spend 15 mil per yr for 7 years for Holliday. Fuentes will cost more than he is worth in free agency. Atkins is having a subtly mediocre year disguised as a good one and he only has two more years left before he leaves to follow one of his BFFs, Holliday or Utley. Plus Ian Stewart is almost as good as Atkins right now, and will grow to be better than Atkins (probably). He also plays for chicken feed, at least by baseball standards (I sure as shoot wouldn't mind making 390k a year).

You already tried a few trades, which included Carlos Carrasco and Fernando Martinez. Both are extremely overrated. But you did try and get Lou Marson too. Do stuff like that! Get good prospects. The Rays apparently like a bunch of people. They've got young pitchers like whoa. Maybe you could get Phil Hughes from the Yankees.

It would suck now. You'd lose a lot of games this season. And probably next season too. But if you got the right prospects, and didn't get fleeced in trades, in 2010 you could be jammin' mon. The system is weak after Reynolds and Fowler. Sure the 07 class is looking pretty core, but they're mostly in A-ball. They've got some proving to do.

Okay, I'll admit it. The A's are my number 2 team after the Rockies. They've gotten rid of half the roster from the 2006 ALCS team, but they also will be the top minor league system for any intelligent baseball analysts at the start of next year. This means when they finally get out of the crappy city of Oakland and move to Fremont, they'll be in the playoffs every year for many years.

Why can't you do that too? At some point you've got to look at your cards and realize you gotta fold. It'll suck to see some fan favorites go, but it's also fun to get psyched on a super prospect, especially when you robbed another team. Beane has fleeced the Cubs (twice), the Braves, the Diamondbacks, the White Sox, and the Phillies in the last year. You have plenty of time to start fleecing. Replenish your prospects. No more one year fluke World Series and then back to crappiness. You gotta build for prolonged success. As a fan, I'm telling you that I'd much rather see a win than the lovable Todd Helton decline into not being able to slug the ball out of the infield. Baseball is a business and the currency is wins, not fan favorites. Go out there and get yourself some future wins. Pretty please.

With Bitter Love,
Me

P.S. Go Jimmy-nez. I'm not usually one for intangibles, but goll dang that kid's got some make-up. Now, if he could just strike some people out...
P.P.S.S. Stewart rakes, finally. That dude can hit the ball a long ways.

Frost Brewed Draught Afternooncap

Yea, and like John Travolta before me, I’m back, but as an angel. Anthony lied in his post a few days ago out of humility. We do have a brand slapping new headquarters for Frost Brewed Baseball, but it is not in Broomfield, CO. Actually it is in a highly advanced top secret underground lair/fortress, hidden somewhere in the Rocky Mountains. With all the crazy, ridiculous computers that you could not possibly fathom without your brain imploding, we did not, in fact, install internet until yesterday. Also, my recent absence is due to the rigor of building said headquarters with only a screwdriver and a garbage bag full of recycled Coors cans. Neverthenonetheless, furthermore, and oddly enough, I shan’t be so infrequent in my posting again.

Anyways: post.

So the MLB draft was over the last few days. They showed it on TV to probably the highest ratings in the history of television—Bud Selig has charisma. Mel Kiper Jr. made a 50-round mock draft for every team in the major leagues. Miraculously, he got every pick right. The Rockies waited hopefully at the 25-spot for someone good to drop to them. Lo and behold, a highly touted southpaw did. Christian Friedrich was considered the second best lefty in the draft. If you look at the scouting reports, he doesn’t sound all that great. Though, many have compared him to the Right Honourable Jeff Francis. He apparently has a decent curve and a low 90s fastball. I’m hoping Henry Rowengartner’s mom will teach him the floater when he’s in A-ball.

In the second round, they picked up a pitcher turned outfielder named Charles Blackmon. Dan O’Dowds mental ruminations on baseball are a bigger mystery than why they actually spent millions of dollars to make You Don’t Mess With the Zohan. But come on Dan. The guy played one year as an outfielder. Sure, he did pretty well at it, but seriously that’s one year. Hell, even Morgan Ensberg had one good year and he’s unemployed.

O’Dowd also had the brazen effrontery to draft a DH all but in name. They picked up “catcher” Kiel Roling at pick 197. The guy apparently make Garrett “fankles (fat ankles)” Atkins look athletic. He can’t catch, throw or do anything in field whether it be behind the plate or at first. He sure as shit can hit though. Last year he OPSed 1114 at ASU (the bastards that stole Jack “Lil’ John” Elway away from CU).

Obviously, you can’t really judge the draft for at least a couple years. But, just for the frick of it, I’m going to give it check minus. O’Dowd though gets an E for effort and a B for balls, because he drafted some hit or miss prospects—could be good, or John VanBenschoten. We shall see Mr. O’Dowd. We shall see.

Kind of a lazy post, but I have to run off to Tulo bobblehead night at Coors Field to pretend that Tulo is playing shortstop. I’ll be back on my game next time.

Sabotage?

This is my apartment building:

I'm thinking it could have been either Clint Hurdle, Dan O'Dowd, or Yorvit Torrealba, as they are the most common scapegoats for Frost Brewed Baseball. Since Boulder is closer to Denver, they decided to attack me, rather than Anthony who is all the way out in Ohio. This is of course all speculative. Also, the fire never reached my apartment, so Ha Ha Ha! I win again Clint, Dan, or Yorv!

Rockies Minor League Report: For Posterity’s Sake

Are the kids alright? Or are they like those kids in the 1995 horror-film Kids (AIDS is a scary monster too)? Well, it is how it always is—the duality of man falls short (i.e. it’s a mixed bag). Some good. Some bad. Some fluffy?

At the beginning of the year, most rated the Rockies farm system around 10^th in baseball, plus or minus 3 or 4. They cited how last year’s World Series run depleted a lot of the big prospects in the farm system and they didn’t have another wave of prospects ready to follow. Perhaps they were right. Maybe the last wave was humongiganticumental, in the vain of Big Wednesday. Did Garey Busey hold his head in the oven for too long? Maybe. There are a few notable prospects left down there… down there somewhere… down… there… some… where…where…

Colorado Springs Sky Sox

Where… whoopsies. Key prospects and performers stuck in the hellish city of Colorado Springs:

Ian Stewart – He was killing the ball, looking like he did in A-ball, but he apparently lost his vision on April 28^th because he hasn’t got on base even once since then (and he’s struck out 12 times over that span). He has also somehow managed to make 9 errors, which is like Miguel Cabrera bad. Or Derek Jeter when the ball is hit to his left bad. Right now, it’s looking like not trading Every Day Atkins was a good plan.

Greg Reynolds – He has had a Wyld year so far, sometimes pitching like a Stallyn (1 and 2 runs in 7 and 8 IP), sometimes like Jorge De La Rosa (7 ER in 4 IP). Given his career minor league WHIP before this year (1.07), his decent control (2.09 BB/9), his bowling ball fastball, his yellow snapdragon curveball and the comparisons to Chien-Ming Wang, Reynolds should be fine.

Other players – Seth Smith is putting up a scary OBP (.427), but isn’t driving the ball (.406 slugging percentage). Joe Koshansky is flat spanking the ball (.397 OBP, .561 SLG). Unheralded center field prospect Christopher Frey is gittin-r-done (.904 OPS, better than Billiam Taveras?). Veteran pitchers Josh Towers and Victor Zambrano are pitching awfully awful. And Juan Morillo has—count ‘em—18 walks in 8.2 IP. That’s not even funny; that’s sad.

Tulsa Drillers

George Frazier’s fellow Oklahomans with notable performances so far:

Chris Nelson – Yikes! This guy was a number 1 pick (thanks Dan and point your fingers to the sky ). He had a halfway decent year last year, but not this year. He has .622 OPS and has made 13 gosh darn frickin’ errors. To quote Bill Shakespeare: “What the golly gosh is going on there, champ?” (That’s from Hamlet Act IV Scene 3, if you want to check) This guy is bombing in Oklahoma (too soon?).

Dexter Fowler – I can’t wait until this guy’s “graceful” stride is replacing William Taveras’ utterly insane outfield routes. By all scouts' accounts, Fowler is a ballerina in the outfield (that’s good right?). He can hit too (.825 OPS, which is pretty good for a center fielder).

Brandon Hynick – This guy looked like the next Greg Maddux in that he has never walked anybody in his entire life (slight exaggeration). This year, his walks are up, his strikeouts are down and he seems to be getting bit by the BABIP bug. So there is hope that the BABIP will revert to the mean and he’ll make the adjustment to AA-ball. I think he’s just off to slow start and is getting adjusted; sort of like Reynolds (he’s made three straight quality starts).

Casey Weathers – For some reason Mr. Rockies GM (who shall remain nameless) decided, along with his co-conspirators, to use an 8^th overall pick last year for a reliever, when there were many other good, non-relievers available (James Simmons, Sean Doolittle—sorry, I’m also an A’s fan). On the value chart for players, reliever falls near the bottom of the 25-man roster. Relievers should not be picked in the first round, and I say this as a huge Huston Street fan. That being said, Weathers is doing relatively well. He has a 1.54 ERA, but he has walked a few too many and is giving up a suspiciously low amount of hits. So for now, I reserve judgment on him as a player, but not on his selection of 8^th overall.

Other players of note – The two second baseman who make Speedy Gonzalez look like Regular Gonzalez—Corey Wimberley (who has Cody Hawkins-esque stature) and Eric Young Jr. (yes, he’s that Eric Young’s son)—are putting up OBPs over .400, which would be a handy thing for the Rockies right now. EY Jr. is even making legit hits (.506 SLG), but alas, he is injured. Matt Miller, who is really old (25), is hitting well (.902 OPS). 23-year-old Adam Bright is relieving well (0.96 WHIP). Here’s hoping he’s on the fast track to the Rockies bullpen.

Modesto Nuts

Heh, heh... Nuts:

Michael McKenry – This guy destroyed the ball last year—destroyed—but he’s 23 and in A-ball, which doesn’t make him all that prospect-y. He is also not hitting this year at all (.674 OPS). I don’t want the ship to sail on him yet, but it isn’t looking good. And there was so much hope.

Other players of note – The nuts have a surprisingly small number of “big-name” prospects. The cliff notes on the team, though, are that nobody is hitting and everybody is pitching. Infrequently discussed 20-year-old Aneury Rodriguez is dominating. He’s striking out a lot, walking few and not giving up home runs. Also, some guy I have never heard of (and I pay a pathetic amount of attention to the Rockies farm system) named William (or Billy) Harris is Jean-Claude Van Damme-in-Bloodsport-dominating high-A ball. The Rockies picked him in the 25^th round last year (ahem… where relievers should be selected) and since, he has struck 75 people per inning (slight exaggeration) and walked none (slight exaggeration as well). What he really has done this year—30 K’s, 5 BB’s, 1HR in 18.1 IP! This nasty hurler should be in the Rockies pen right now. He’s better than half the guys out there right now… combined! Like the dramatic ellipses?

The Low-Low Teams:

2007 second-rounder Brian Rike is enacting the Wrath of Khan on the ball (go Star Trek!) with a .935 OPS and is supposed to be a prototypical right fielder. Fellow 2007 second-rounder Darin Holcomb is also Metallica-ing the ball (i.e. rocking) with a .997 OPS. Jhoulys Chacin and Cory Riordan (another member of the 2007 draft class) are striking guys out and putting up WHIPs around 1.00. The 157th contributing member of the 2007 draft class, Connor Graham, is doing well too (2.25 ERA, but high number of walks). Yet another 2007-er Joey Williamson, as well as 2006 4^th rounder Craig Baker, are making Asheville’s bullpen daunting. Ok, the 2007 draft class is looking pretty loaded and there might be a few gems in the 2006 class. Maybe in a few years the Rockies will once again have a vaunted farm system. Now, if it could only translate to major league wins…

Note:

Drunkest or craziest color commentator in the big leagues, George Frazier, has a son in the Rockies farm system. He was terrible (2.15 WHIP) for the Casper Ghosts, of glow-in-the-dark hat fame. He has been reassigned spectrally to the Ghosts for this year. Let's all hope he has a phantasmal year in the name of his mustacheioed father.

Today’s Random Quote:

“No one ever asked me to find anything they didn't want dead.” – Michael Madsen in the 1995 all-time classic Species

One more time... Wow.

Season Recap (Insert catchy title here (I’m exhausted and the Rockies only exhaust me further))

I’m going to do one of Master Masterson’s recaps, except for the whole Rockies season to this point…

So, Yorvit Torrealba is taking some Rockies on a clothes shopping trip; maybe he should take Dan O’Dowd on a players shopping trip. The ones Clint Hurdle throws out there everyday aren’t getting it done. Not even close.

Some of the players are talented, but talent doesn’t win games; I’m pretty sure hitting, pitching and defense win games; though I’m not positive. The Rockies can’t hit (20^th in team OPS). They can’t pitch (24^th in team WHIP). Ok, I guess they are alright at fielding, but certainly not great. Put that all together and 10-16 is almost decent.

Look at the starting lineup:

Willy Taveras – not very good, period

Todd Helton – doing decently

Matt Holliday – just murdering the ball right now (could improve his slugging)

Garrett Atkins – decent, but OBP needs work, big time

Brad Hawpe – what happened?

Troy Tulowitzki – what happened?—times infinity

Clint Barmes – overachievement is a pleasant surprise

Yorvit Torrealba – terrible hitter who shouldn’t start

The only way that lineup is going to put up any wins is if you have 12 Jake Peavy’s and Johan Santana’s pitching for you. Instead, the Rockies have a bunch of ‘07 Jeff Weaver’s. Jeff Francis must have been taken over by a T-1000, hell bent on destroying the Rockies (Terminator 2 shreds!). U-ball-four-do Jimenez has twice as many wild pitches as anyone in baseball and seems to believe that baserunners are a good thing. Franklin Delano Morales has more balks than strikeouts (untrue, but wouldn’t surprise me). Then there is Manny Corpas who seems to have been taken over by a T-2000 or something that can blow saves with its mind and telepathically communicate with a hitter, telling them exactly what it’s about to throw. The pitching staff looks replacement level right now—not good!

What do we do now? Scrap and rebuild? Billy Beane’s A’s have the best record in the AL in a “rebuilding” year. Sadly, comparing Billy Beane to Dan O’Dowd is illegal in most states, when it’s not a joke (please don’t tell the feds on me). The Rockies look destitute right now. What is more indicative of the year than Tulo slamming a bat or helmet and yelling after half of his plate appearances? All that slamming and yelling doesn’t seem to be helping anyone. I refuse to believe that my favorite baseball player is just acting. Winning must be more important to him than $31 mil over 6 years. Right?

Maybe I’m being pessimistic and premature. After all, the Rockies started out pretty poorly last year. I just don’t see the 21-1 fluke happening again; as much as I want it to. I feel like the old Rockies fan in me is coming back. I no longer turn on the TV expecting them to win. I turn it on in hopes of them maybe staving off their screw ups until at least the seventh inning. Where is Jamey Wright? Where is Choo Freeman? Danny Ardoin? If they are going to lose so much, at least they could have comically bad players. I feel like it is 2005 all over again. Will it be the eternal recurrence of the Rockies’ washout same? Pretty please, no. With sugar on top. And a cherry. Hell, I’ll throw in a fiver, nay, a twenty. Is that enough?

If I had a couple hundred million dollars, I would gladly give it to the Rockies. My only condition would be that they drop Dan O'Dowd and hire David Forst as GM.

This is turning into a Dan O'Dowd slander site.

Today’s Random Quote:

“Hell?!?!? (points to his head) This is hell. Right Here!” – Benicio Del Toro in 21 Grams

I just thought of the most depressing line from the most depressing movie that I could think of. Depression is apropos right now if you are a Colorado sports fan.

Was that ivy growing on the outfield walls at Coors?

Boo! It’s almost as popular as cheering and clapping. Boo! It’s the simplest expression of disapproval there is. Boo! Apparently, it is also something the Rockies get at their home park.

Rockies manager Clint Hurdle intentionally walked three Cubs over the course of tonight’s game and was booed every time. Now why would Rockies fans boo Clint Hurdle for trying to avoid good hitters (except Cedeno) and get out of innings? There are plenty of other reasons to boo Clint Hurdle. My current count is 387. Yet they booed Clint for his intentional walks—for not having the Rocky Mountain oysters to pitch to potentially dangerous hitters. That’s not really why Hurdle was booed; he was booed because the booers booing him boofully were Cubs fans. Now, I wasn’t at the game, but drawing from my knowledge of seeing the Cardinals and Cubs come to Coors and from what I saw in the stands on television, there were probably about as many Cubs fans as there were Rockies fans. And somewhere Larry Walker wept. No, scratch that. Larry Walker only cries when his tears are needed for their remedial capacity—they can cure anything from cancer to the common cold.

It’s not as though the large portion of away team fans is a continual problem—it’s usually on the days the Cubs or Cardinals come to town (or the rare occasion when the Yankees play at Coors). These franchises obviously have a lot of history as well as vast fan bases. You’d think, though, after somehow making it to the World Series last year, the Rockies would garner a bit more support. No? They’re the biggest one-hit wonders since Dexy’s Midnight Runners? (Could have gone with Vanilla Ice, but everything he’s done is a hit)

Their one-hit was enough to improve attendance, if only slightly. They are averaging about 3,000 more people (or tickets sold) per game than last year. They are also averaging the highest attendance per game since 2002. That’s a good sign. They are moving up in the world. Maybe they can be in ESPN’s Next competition. The question is: How many of those fans are Rockies fans? The Tulo chant suggests there are many. The booing suggests there aren’t enough.

I suppose they will have to post a few thousand more winning seasons before Colorado is a baseball state, though the Broncos’ firm hold on our state’s heart is loosening with each playoff-less January. One winning season is a lot to ask with Danny O’ Dowd at the helm. After all, “life is a blast when you know what you’re doing, best to know what you’re doing,” which Dan O’ Dowd doesn’t. You can’t really blame Dan, though; it’s the prerogative of every Rockies general manager to not know what they are doing.

Since a few winning seasons is probably too much to ask, I’ll put my money where my mouth is (as long as my foot isn’t already there). I’m going to go to Rockies games and boo opposing teams’ fans. For every person I see wearing a hat without a “CR” on it, I will go up to that person and say “boo you, sir” and walk away. Cruel? Borderline asshole-ish? Perhaps, but we all have to make sacrifices for what we love, even if what we love can’t seem to win any games.

Talk about precocious...

It was revealed today that Miguel Tejada faked his age coming out of the Dominican Republic as a prospect. He is, in fact, 33 instead of his purported age of 31. His true age was, embarrassingly, right on his passport. Because of this, the Rockies decided to make sure they had no foreign-born players lying about their age by checking everyone's passports. The Rockies were pleasantly surprised to find out that Canadian-born Jeff Francis is actually 14, rather than his listed age of 27. Francis has often been called baby-faced, and lo and behold, he truly is baby-faced. This means instead of making his major league debut at the age of 24, Francis was only 11--by far the youngest player in major league history. Rockies manager Clint Hurdle had this to say: "I can't go out drinking with him any more. Shit!"

While a player claiming to be older than he truly is can be bad publicity for a team, finding out that a player is actually younger could prove to be great publicity. The Rockies anticipate a sky rocket in ticket sales when Francis is pitching. Much as the Cubs did in the Daniel Stern-directed Rookie of the Year, the Rockies aim to take advantage of Francis' young age. A spokesman for the team says they have already planned promotional days including: Free Pokemon Day (as in free -of-charge Pokemon, not free the imprisoned Pokemon), Free Jolt Cola to Get Buzzed On Day, We'll Do Your Social Studies Homework While You Watch the Game Day, and Dress Up Like Power Rangers Day. At a press conference this afternoon, Francis said, "Mommy, can I have my snaky now." His mom then gave him his cookies and milk and told him it was bedtime.

Perhaps this will bring about a new age in baseball, in which players are drafted out of junior high, rather than after high school. Here's to hoping.

Christopher vs. Yorvit—There can be only one Highlander…

Anferny discussed this earlier and I think it warrants some elaboration. After all, catcher is one of the most important positions out there. There is the chubby, high potential kid (Chris Iannetta) and the sprite Venezuelan (Yorvit Torrealba). Both have their merits, but one is more meritorious than the other. One’s meritivty is more meritified than the meritations of the other meriter.

Neither has hit very well in their major league careers. Actually, both have been well below average. Their career OPS+ is exactly identical (80). The problem is, Yorvit has had 1078 more at-bats than Christobald. Jorvy is 29 and passed his prime years (26-28). Chances are he ain’t getting any better. Christoph, on the other hand, is in his younger and more vulnerable years at 25. Add to this how he got jiggy wid it in the minor leagues (OBP: .409, SLG: 509) and there’s a good chance Ian will hit better than Tory over the long term. Obviously, minor league numbers don’t equal major league numbers, but there is a relative correlation. Yorvit’s are pretty similar, if slightly better in the majors. So far this year, in a very small sample size, Iannetta is OPSing 971 (nah, nah, nah, nah, na-nah, nah, getting’ jiggy wid it). The Duke of Torrealba, meanwhile, is OPSing 641 (nah, nah… no). Then again, perennial all-star and first ballot hall of famer Gabe Kapler is OPSing 1410 so far. So… conclusion? Iannetta and Torrealba have hit about the same so far in their careers, but Iannetta is younger and has a much bigger upside. Advantage: Iannetta

Defense is hard to judge. The stats are slippery and you can’t watch every single play. It seems like just about everyone who covers the Rockies says Torrealba is a terrific defender, yet he rarely throws runners out and he can’t seem to block the ball very well (though he was credited with only 4 passed balls last year). Iannetta is also supposed to be a very good defender, but he seems to be flawed like Torrealba. Apparently Yorvit is a better game-caller (catching ERA 4.12) than Iannetta (CERA 4.71). The stats seem to back that up. My only qualm with this is that both of them look into the dugout before they call their pitches. Is there a puppeteer in the dugout? I can’t say for sure. For lack of clear evidence, I have to say… Advantage: Torrealba.

The other advantage that Torrealba supporters claim he has is that he’s clutch. He reeks clutch. If he had a cologne, like Jeter, it would be called Clutch. The problem is that if you look at all his “clutch” stats (2 outs w/ RISP, late and close, within 1 run) he is worse than normal. In fact, the only time he hits better than his career average is with a margin of more than 4 runs, where his OPS is 28 points higher. As for late and close games, when you would think it matters most, his OPS is significantly lower (134 points lower!). So, if you believe in clutch hitting, which I personally don’t, you cannot say truthfully that Yorvit is “clutch.” Just because he hit a homer in the playoffs, it doesn’t mean he’s clutch (ahem… JETER!). Iannetta also doesn’t eat, breathe and shit clutchness; so this category is a wash, as the mystical attribute of clutchbat should be.

There are other arguments that could be brought up: Yorvit is good with the young latin pitchers (so just start him for Morales and Jimenez) and that Torrealba costs 7,575.75 times (not dollars) more than Iannetta (ok, there is no point in arguing that). So, I suppose the question comes down to: Is Iannetta’s bat and potential worth more than Torrealba’s defense? I think the answer is unequivocally, yes. Instead of wasting $3 mil on Torrealba, we could have had a capable catching tandem of Iannetta and Edwin Bellorin. But wasting money is what Dan O’ Dowd is good at—Hampton, Neagle. So unless his royal clutchness starts to hit well for the first time in his career, Clinton of Hurdle might find his team scoring more runs with a line-up including Christopher Domenic Iannetta instead of Yorvit Adolfo Torrealba. Oh, I forgot to bring up the “whose name is better?” argument. Yorvit Adolfo Torrealba wins in a landslide. I forfeit. Torrealba should start merely because of the majesty of his name.

"Oh, I just wanted to say good-bye and remind you that the good guys always win, even in the eighties." - Academy Award winner Barry Bostwick in the hit 1982 film Megaforce

To quote Soulja Boy, “History is a nightmare from which I am trying to escape”

That may not be Soulja Boy that I just quoted; it may be James Joyce. I guess it doesn’t matter, because their contributions to the English language are roughly equivalent. The point remains; the Rockies, like Soulja Boy or Joyce, are trying to escape history, specifically their own. It has been a history full of home runs, tears, embarrassment and tearful home runs full of embarrassment. Their career record before last season, including the one time they somehow lucked into the playoffs, is .465, which averages to a little over 75 wins per season. That would make the Devil (whoops blasphemy) Rays proud?

Their Captain Fantastic win percentage has, however, been subverted by some lovely moments—EY hitting the first homer in the first Rockies at bat, Dante Bichette’s mullet, umm… that’s about it, but Bichette’s mullet is like the hair equivalent of Steve Perry’s voice/face combination. For a while, Bichette’s epic doo was enough to keep fans in the seats. The Rockies set attendance records and were selling out every game for a half decade. I remember all the crazy fervor when the Rockies debuted under the Rocky Mountain sunset (cliché #37a). Fans were crazy nuts for them. I found myself in the nosebleed section of (not Invesco Field at) Mile High amidst a sellout crowd. And there was hope (cliché #3b). And then there was denial (it’s the altitude). And then there was steaming piles of Triceratops poop with Jeff Goldblum constantly quipping “now that is one big pile of shit” until Todd Helton shot him, took him to a taxidermist, mounted him above his fireplace, and drew a Rollie Fingers mustache on him with a sharpie. And hope was dead; just like God, chivalry and crystal Pepsi.

Then, once upon a time (érase una vez, for our latin friends) the Rockies won a shit-load of games in an anti-shit-load of time. It was fluky, but fun. People were getting loaded in sport bars and cheering instead of downing fifths of whiskey at home and breaking television sets. The bandwagon almost collapsed from the pressure of being overloaded. Young kids were rocking the K-Fed graffiti Rockies hats with the stickers on the bill, which New Era now sews on crooked by default. And hope had made a comeback (cliché #3c? I’ll have to check the clichétionary—yes! Another retarded portmanteau!), just like John Travolta.

And here we are (",babe"? It seems like ",babe" should follow that). The National League Champion Rockies attempt to prove their mettle (or that they're metal). Todd Helton walks up to the plate and tells the pitcher he’s going to superman that ho (see Ulysses by Joyce, James). Then, he cranks that into the Rockpile and runs around the bases yelling “I AM LEGEND!” (Note: that may not actually be true, but I had to insert the obligatory Will Smith reference). Though Todd Helton still rakes like a fox (I must be drunk), the rest of the team looks pretty average. PECOTA predicted the Rockies to win 84 games, or just above average. It seemed fair at the time, with all the questions marks involved. Now, after a super small sample size (8 games), the Rockies look like their going to end up in the 10^th percentile of their PECOTA projection, or the Ben Affleck percentile, as I like to call it.

It is, after all, a long season, and who the hell knows? But the Rockies should consider front office and managerial changes for the long term. I can’t completely hate on O’Dowd because he has drafted some good players, but he has also has made Omar Minaya look smart a few times. An example of his smartification that didn’t end up screwing him: he wanted to draft Denard Span (career minor league OPS: 698), but couldn’t afford him; so he was stuck with some Jeff Francis guy. In terms of Clint “I’m Bringing in Jorge Julio” Hurdle, the Wall Street Journal did a study of managers based on wins in close games, wins above expectation and player performance. Guess where Clint finished… Go on, guess… Oh, you can’t? Well, I’ll tell you. Dead fucking last (http://online.wsj.com/public/resources/documents/info-baseballMgrs08.html?n=50&page=1&sd=ASC&sort=overall). He’s fun in the post game interview. He has a big funny looking head with goofy hair. But is that worth his shitsational managing (I win again! Shit+senational=brilliant, retarded or retarded brilliant—you choose). The Rockies may have a good season in spite Clinton and Daniel again, but it might be better to build a good organization. Or not.

I’m still thinking of a cool little sign off note, so for this post I’ll settle for:

“I ain’t got time to bleed” – Jesse “the Former Mayor of Minnesota” Ventura in Predator

Maybe I’ll just end with stupid quotes every time.