The WTF LOL Bewildering Out-of-Context Quote of the Week
Jerricho Cotchery on how Brett Favre has inspired the Jets to becoming a decent team:
"He is the notorious butt-slapper. You have to watch out for him because you may be stretching out or something, and he just comes out of nowhere."
Look. It's totally Favre's fun personality. It's definitely not Thomas Jones' career year. Or the seasoning of Darrelle Revis and David Harris. Or the additions of Calvin Pace, Kris Jenkins, Alan Faneca, and rookie Dwight Lowery. Definitely Brett Favre's jaunty personality.
_____________________________________________________________________
...And the rest...
San Fransisco @ Buffalo
I give thanks for Trent Edwards actually being entertaining and engaging in interviews, unlike 97% of all athletes, especially golfers. I give thanks for Mike Singletary's belt (possibly his suspenders). I give thanks for Beast Mode all up in your d-line's grill.
Winner: Buffalo
Baltimore @ Cincinnati
I give thanks for the hit Adam Sandler vehicle about prison football, The Longest Yard, on which I believe this game was based. I give thanks to plea bargains and knife-murders-at-large. I give thanks for teams named after Edgar Allen Poe poems. I wish Keats was from Cincinnati. Then they could be the Cincinnati Belle Dame sans Merci. That's pretty hardcore, right?
Winner: Baltimore
New Orleans @ Tampa Bay
I give thanks for Drew Brees not playing for the Chargers anymore. I give thanks for the Barry Sanders Jr. (Reggie Bush) being a terrible running back (though he is a good receiver). I give thanks for creole food. This has nothing to do with football, but I had a really good honeyed biscuit and some cajun home fries this morning for brakfast. They were really good... Much better than the Saints, who are so 2006 anyway. I would give thanks for the Buccaneers in one way or another, but they are really bland and I couldn't care less about them.
Winner: Tampa Bay
Football Giants @ Washington
I give thanks for huge divisional games like this. I give anti-thanks to the Giants for letting Tiki Barber and Michael Strahan retire. I should not have to listen to them on television. I would gladly give thanks to anyone who could fire them. I give thanks for Eli Manning's hair. I give thanks for all 6 feet and 2 inches of firecracker that make up Jim Zorn.
Winner: Washington. Why Not?
Miami @ St. Louis
I give thanks for Chad Pennington's 93.4 passer rating. I give thanks for the Dolphins' incredible yards after the catch ability that could give Pennington a 8.0 yards per attempt average, especially considering Pennington has never thrown a pass longer than maybe six yards in his whole life. I give thanks for St. Louis continuing to go out there and play each gam for no reason, and to no avail.
Winner: Miami
Indianapolis @ Cleveland
I give thanks for Peyton Manning's forehead. I give thanks for Romeo Crennel's stunning physique. I give thanks for Brady Quinn's poor play and season-ending injury. I really give thanks for that.
Winner: Indianapolis
Carolina @ Green Bay
I give thanks for snowy games at Lambeau. I give thanks for Jake Delhomme throwing four interceptions and still beating the Raiders. I give thanks for Jordan Gross' surname.
Winner: Green Bay
Atlanta @ San Diego
I give thanks for Eli Manning and Roethlisberger getting rings before Philip Rivers. I give thanks to any person who has ever sacked Philip Rivers in their NFL career. I give thanks to anyone who has ever sacked Philip Rivers in their college career. I pretty much give thanks to anyone who has ever treated Philip Rivers poorly in any way--that guy sucks a lot.
Winner: Atlanta (please)
Denver @ Football Jets
I give thanks for Peyton Hillis and Spencer Larsen. I give thanks for Brett Favre's beard. I give thanks for Vinny Testeverde (he's gotta be out there somewhere keeping it real). I give thanks for Deanna Favre's jealousy over all the ass-slappings Brett's teammate's get, while she sits at home alone waxing poetic. Seriously does shit just happen to the Favre family so that they can overcome it courageously, making everyone (especially Tony Kornheiser) adore them even more?
Winner: Unfortuantely the Football Jets
Pittsburgh @ New England
It's hard to give thanks when Matt Cassell comes in and plays as well as he has, but I'll try. I give thanks for the Steelers offensive line. I give thanks for Randy Moss playing like he's back in a Raiders uniform. I give thanks for whoever discovered the Patriots cheating. I give thanks for tarnished "dynasties."
Winner: New England
Kansas City @ Oakland
Sigh. I give thanks to Al Davis' senility. I give thanks to Raiders fans proudly embarrassing themselves every home game. I give thanks to the lady that reported Larry Johnson's salivary projections. I give thanks to Deangelo Hall.
Winner: Kansas City
Chicago @ Minnesota
I give thanks for Rex Grossman. I give thanks for Gus Frerotte. I give thanks for contstant interceptions and fumbles. I give thanks for the Vikings failed expectations. I give thanks to the Booty and Birk families for keeping their proud names alive.
Winner: Minnesota
Jacksonville @ Houston
I give thanks for Steve Slaton being on the waiver wire. I give thanks for Ahman Green's season ending injury (sorry Ahman). I give thanks to Ron Jaworski for keeping MNF football somewhat watchable. I give thanks for a weak thanksgiving premise strung out far longer than it ever should have been.
Winner: Houston
Last Week: 9-6
Earlier This Week: 3-0
Overall: 91-57
No comments:
Post a Comment