Stupid SI Cover Jinx, Go Pick on the Patriots

There are few things you can count on in this lifetime. Death and taxes, sure. The Pope remaining Catholic? Why not? British soccer dominating Italian soccer? Unfortunately yes (but we’re comin for you, Eric.) We can now officially add the Sports Illustrated cover jinx to that exclusive list. Though pretty much universally acknowledged as a scientific fact (see when they picked the Dolphins to win the Super Bowl in 2005 only to see them barely win 10 games from that point to now), it really hit home today when we found out that our beloved shortstop and SI cover boy Troy Tulowitzki, on top of his less than stellar .152 batting average through the first month of the season, will more than likely be out until the All-Star break with a torn quadriceps muscle. That sentence would probably have gotten me kicked out of the English department here at Kenyon College had I put that on a term paper but oh well, I’m graduating soon. I digress. Since SI put together their baseball preview issue this year of the stars of the 2005 draft class (Ryan Braun, Justin Upton, Tulo, Jacoby Ellsbury, Clay Buchholz, and Ryan Zimmerman) with a huge article on the intangibles Tulo possesses, he’s failed to even live up to the lowest of expectations. I love Tulo, and it was incredibly hard for me to watch him play this first month of the season. His line of a .152 average, 1 home run, and only 11 rbis to go along with his .083 average with runners in scoring position and 2 outs and paltry .232 on base percentage hurt even more. Let’s compare Tulo to his 2005 draft counterparts to see how he stands (counting average, home runs, and rbis:)
Ryan Braun: .287, 4, 21
Justin Upton: .327. 5, 15
Tulo: .152, 1, 11
Jacoby Ellsbury: .280, 3, 11, 8 steals
Clay Buchholz: 1-2, 4.08 ERA, 1 complete game, 27 k’s in 28.2 IP
Ryan Zimmerman: .233, 3, 13
It seems about half and half so far with Tulo by far being in the worst shape out of all of them, especially considering he’ll now be living with those disappointing numbers until around the All-Star break. Since the focus of the SI cover was mainly about Tulo, he seemed to have a greater burden on his shoulders this year. He had a lot to play for including proving that he deserved the colossal contract given to him in the offseason. He put so much pressure on himself that I think it got to him as he tried to do too much instead of just being our everyday shortstop. Tulo, if you’re reading this (if you are, leave a comment or give me a ring and we’ll go grab a Coors and just vent), everyone in Denver loves you, you’re the man, and we have no doubt you’ll come back and turn it around. Elway-speed.
P.S. I went to the Indians-Mariners game last night at Jacobs Field (I’ll be damned if I’ll ever call it Progressive Field) and caught Grady Sizemore’s first inning home run to the left field stands. Here’s the video to prove it: I’m the dude with the ball in my hand.