Woooo Hoooo!!!! Double!!!!

For the first time since my youth (1999) Manchester United lifted the European crown again. And it was awesome. Unfortunately it had to end in penalty kicks, but at least they were heart-attack inducing penalty kicks that ended in the tears of penalty-kick-shanker/handicap-spot-parker , John Terry. Also, Russian-mobster/billionaire-oil-man, Roman Abramovich, probably cried too. Everyone the world over (except West London) cheered as Man U triumphantly proved that you can't buy a championship. Abramovich will have to continue to lose all kinds of money over-spending for overrated players to try and get that elusive Champions League title, while ticket sales dwindle since nobody likes to watch Chelsea's shitty, boring style of soccer. Anyways, that's enough about soccer. Nobody in America likes it anyway. Go Reds! Suck it Blues!

Also, Rip Hamilton just called Michelle Tafoya "sir." It was mighty funny.