Oh yeah, I know someone in the Major Leagues

Congratulations are definitely in order for my cousin Justin Masterson after his scintillating Major League debut yesterday for the Boston Red Sox against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim not including Orange County but parts of Bakersfield. Making an emergency start since the flu bug (hopefully the plague) was barreling its way through the Red Sox clubhouse as a result of the Sox players’ constant make out parties, my cousin was called up from Double A Portland to see what he could do. One of the top prospects in the entire organization, my cousin straight up put the realness on the Angels. In 6 innings, he gave up only 2 hits, 1 run, and racked up 4 k’s while throwing 95 pitches, 58 for strikes. He made the Angels lineup, the second most powerful in the American League, look like they’d spent the whole night before drinking S’more Schnapps. He’s got a bit of an unorthodox delivery and it consistently kept the Angels off balance. His power sinking fastball was clocked anywhere from 90-94 with a darting slider and a whiffle ball changeup to go along with it. Though he was sent right back down to AA after the start, his performance showed it won’t be too much longer before he’s back for good to paraphrase the 90s smash hit by the English boy band Take That. On top of being probably one of the 3 nicest people on earth, my cousin is perfectly built to play baseball. At 6’6” and 250 lbs, he’s a force to be reckoned with on the mound. Here’s his profile in Milb.com: http://www.minorleaguebaseball.com/milb/stats/stats.jsp?n=Justin%20Masterson&pos=P&sid=milb&t=p_pbp&pid=475416. His nickname is Mr. Clean because of his pitching prowess and uncanny resemblance to the beefcake that takes all the grease and grime from your stovetops and linoleum floors. The only drawback to my cousin being a Major League pitching star will be that it makes me root for the Red Sox at least once every 5^th day and poses the earth shattering question: Can I perform the unthinkable and actually buy a Masterson Red Sox jersey? Stay tuned as I will be wrestling my ethics for that answer for quite some time. Anyway, congratulations cousin, you made the Masterson family proud and put our name on the map before I had a chance to.