I must apologize from the start to all my loyal readers (you know who the four of you are. Hi Mom and Dad!) I wasn’t paying very close attention to the Rockies game with the Giants last night because Eddie, starring the best actress ever with no eyebrows Whoopi Goldberg, was on AMC and frankly, it was exponentially more enthralling than watching our sorry asses get whipped by a team nearly everyone picked to be in last place. I would almost rather have watched the Little-Engine-That-Couldn’t Nuggets self destruct against the less talented Lakers. Instead I sat there listlessly, making casual glances to my computer screen before averting my eyes back to the feel good story about the Knicks of all teams that came through the boob tube.
1) I know we haven’t had the greatest success against Matt Cain in his career. He’s 5-3 with a 3.12 ERA and always seems to keep the Rockies bats in check when he’s not allowing 496 foot home runs to Big Daddy. By the way, the only positive aspect of watching the game last night was that they showed that replay of Matt running around the bases screaming “Yeah, bitch” at Cain. Priceless. Like I said, I know he’s had success but coming into yesterday’s game he was only 1-2 with a 5.27 ERA and not pitching like the dominant Cain we’ve come to know and hate. Of course, that didn’t matter as the Rockies mustered only 4 hits. I feel like Bob Uecker in Major League. 4 hits? 4 goddamn hits? When will the madness end? I changed my computer background from a picture of Tulo on Opening Day to a picture of God Elway himself after Super Bowl XXXII in hopes that karma will take over and good things will start happening, but I’m becoming more and more discouraged with each passing day.
2) It seems like Garrett is the only Rockie who can get hits consistently as he had a pair to extend his hitting streak to a solid 13 games. Now for the laundry list of problems affecting the Rox this year: Jayson Nix has been optioned back to AAA after hitting a robust .111 in his first chance to start in the Major Leagues and will clear waivers in a couple days. Clint Barmes has cooled off a bit after his scorching start and has seen his playing time at second base temporarily supplanted by Jeff Baker who’s trying to add some pop to a lifeless lineup. Willy T is publically questioning his playing time after sitting out three consecutive games last week. Scotty Pods and Spilly are playing well enough to warrant some playing time of their own and it’s tough to find time for 5 guys when only three spots are available per game. Ubaldo Jimenez, Franklin Morales, and Mark Redman are all in serious trouble of losing their rotation spots. Jimenez doesn’t have any options left so he’s stuck with the big club as the Rox would have to be committed to an institution if they put him on waivers. Morales could be sent to the Springs to work out the kinks but Redman would probably just be cut from the team if he continues to underperform. Top pitching prospect Greg Reynolds has begun to bust out of an early season funk in AAA and finally got his first win last week pitching 8 strong innings. The Rockies’ brass probably wants to get him more time before they tell him to make the hour long drive up the interstate to Denver. We also have former Major League starter Josh Towers in the Springs who has experience in that role. Kip Wells had one of the spots in my mind before coming in last night to clean up Frankie K’s mess and immediately throwing 9 pitches, 8 balls to walk in 2 runs. I just don’t know anymore…I just don’t know.
3) Skip Hurdle did everything he could to rally the troops by getting tossed for the first time the season for arguing a balk call against Frankie K in the first inning. He was either really adamant about the point he was trying to make or he just didn’t want to see the ugliness unfold either. I don’t blame ya, Clint.
The Rox face another young flamethrower in Tim Lincecum on Tuesday who carries a 1-0 record in 2 career starts against the Rockies. This kid’s 5’11” and throws 99 mph. The Rockies couldn’t hit Barry Zito if they faced him right now. I think I smell what the Rock is cookin, and I don’t think it’s the tour de force film starring Nicholas Cage.
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